Good According To Who?

I can get on board with some things working together for good, but all things? That tests my faith. I love God and I believe I am called according to His purpose, but this autism stuff isn’t “good”, right? This is a profound truth in Scripture that’s hard for me to wrap my head around.

All things work together for good, but good according to who? Who defines what is ultimately good? If that is up to us to determine, then I think we are immediately confronted with a few problems:

1. What we think is good for us is always a moving target. We change our minds constantly about what is good for us and our family.
2. We often misjudge what is good for us by equating goodness with our happiness. We tell ourselves if we just had THAT job or THAT relationship or THAT car, everything would be good, only to end up disappointed.
3. We are tempted to think, “God won’t allow difficult things to happen to me if it all works for good”.

Thankfully, God knows we all set the bar way too low for ourselves. While we might be content to just find some measure of happiness, God is working out our sanctification. It’s not about subjective happiness but our holiness. It’s about a sanctifying process to make us more like Christ. It’s about what is good according to Him, not us.

All Things Including Autism?

Does God bring challenges like autism to our doorstep for our sanctification? He absolutely does, but that doesn’t make it easy. I wrestle with it time and time again.

About a year ago, I was reading through the book of Romans. I was in a period of intense struggle as I was processing through some of the ongoing difficulties with Jack and Ellie. Potty training, OCDs, the rigidity of routines, and practicing patience through sudden outbursts were high (and still are) on my list of concerns. 

I had reached Romans 8 – a jammed-packed theological chapter. It walked me through how the sufferings of this present time have no comparison to our future glory and how all creation groans for redemption. Yes, we indeed yearn for better days ahead, but God wanted to show me that I can have hope right now in the present. Hope that doesn’t disappoint and brings joy. I was doubting that hope was possible. 

When I reached verse 28, I sensed the Holy Spirt prompting me to read it over and over. “All things. All things. All things. Not some things, John, all things.” It was a powerful moment of God meeting me where I was and speaking through His Word to change my heart.

So there it was. It had settled deep in my heart. “All things” include the autism Katie and I wrestle with. That is our present reality, but we have much joy and hope. Yes, we groan for future redemption and the day when all will be revealed. Although that day has not yet come, we can live in the reality of this truth today, that all things work together for good. 

As I finished that morning, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace; that God is in complete sovereign control over my life and the life of my kids. He has a will and a plan for them that is better than anything I could imagine.

I set the bar so low.

I find I need to come back to Romans 8:28 over and over again. I think it’s a verse every Christian reflects on at some point in their life. 

All things include autism. It includes illness. Losing a job. The passing of a loved one. That’s tough to process through. My brain has trouble comprehending it.

So much of what we experience in the present doesn’t seem good to us. It’s during those times that we must trust in God’s understanding and not our own (Proverbs 3:5). It doesn’t mean it’s pain-free. It doesn’t mean we can’t have questions. But, we can have hope now in the present!

God Meant it for Good

I’m reminded of a man in the Bible who probably asked himself, “What good can come from this, God”? What’s going on here”? If anyone was justified in feeling hopeless, abandoned, and confused, it would have been Joseph.

Hated by his brothers. Thrown into a pit. Sold into slavery. Falsely accused of rape. Thrown into prison. Forgotten about. It all seemed bad and hopeless, but God had Joseph exactly where He wanted him. 

I imagine Joseph saying, “C’mon God, seriously? First, my brothers sell me as a slave and now I am being thrown in prison for something I did not do?”

I would have sulked, complained, felt sorry for myself, demanded justice, and questioned God’s goodness. Sometimes it’s difficult to look beyond the circumstances we find ourselves in.

God is never surprised, though. 

Through a series of God-ordained events in prison, Joseph found himself second-in-command over all Egypt and in a position to get revenge on the brothers who altered his life forever.

But when the opportunity finally presented itself and all the cards were on the table, he instead chose compassion. Why? Because he saw the beauty of God’s sovereignty and goodness in everything that had happened.

The book of Genesis culminates with these incredible words from Joseph to his brothers:

What good came from Joseph’s betrayal and abandonment? God’s sanctifying work in Joseph and his brothers, the salvation of his people, and God’s sovereignty on full display. How magnificent! How beautiful! Only a sovereign God could ordain such a plan.

And how magnificent and beautiful His plans are for us as well.

Even more beautiful is how this story points to another. Think about it…What do we see here? A rags-to-riches story. A story of an unsung hero. A story of salvation. A story of restoration and forgiveness. A love story. These are the kinds of stories we are drawn to. They captivate us. They stir in us something deep. I can’t think of a story that points more clearly to Jesus Christ, the greatest unsung hero who brought salvation, restoration, and forgiveness to the world. The ultimate good and our ultimate hope. The One in whom we are being sanctified.

The Secret Things Belong to the Lord

Sometimes, God is gracious to reveal His mysteries to us. Like Joseph, we get to see the fruits of God’s work through a trial or painful experience. We get to see how God worked it together for good. However, I believe that is an exception rather than the rule.

The ways God works for our good are mostly kept hidden, as far as I can tell. I like what Paul Tripp has to say about this in his devotional, New Morning Mercies:

“No, you will not always see his (God’s) hand. You often won’t understand what he is doing. There will be points when life won’t make sense to you. At times, you will wish that life could be different. There will be moments when you feel unprepared for what is on your plate. In these moments, look up and remember that above it all there is a throne, and on it sits a God of unimaginable majesty, ruling for his glory and for your good”

Paul David Tripp, 2014

God has been gracious to let me see how my kids have already impacted the lives of people around them in ways I never imagined. God uses the seemingly foolish things of the world to shame the wise and the seemingly weak things of the world to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). I believe they will have a far greater impact on the world than I could ever have.

But like an iceberg, we only get to see the tip of God’s good plan for us and our family. A glance. A teaser. A sneak peek. A taste.

Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). We only need a taste to give us lasting hope and to know that God has our good in mind. 

So the question becomes, do I trust God when He says these things work together for good even on days when it feels far from good? Do I trust that God will use my kids’ autism for a greater plan and purpose than I could ever imagine?

Again, I set the bar so low.

We won’t know it all on this side of eternity. I don’t think we have the capacity to. The secret things belong to the Lord for a reason (Deuteronomy 29:29). But since He knows everything, we can entrust our future into His hands.

My prayer is that God would grant us peace, hope, and joy in our times of difficulty and that we would rest in the incredible plans that He has for us.