Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.

Psalm 23:6

I love looking through old pictures and videos taken over the course of my life. Even as a young child, I would take home videos my parents created and watch them religiously (on VHS, of course). Now with our ever advancing technology, I have an endless number of photos and videos, most of which will probably be lost in “the cloud” never to be seen again.

But when I do have the time, I love scanning through the electronic folders overflowing with memories galore because it helps me picture my life in chapters. It helps me remember good times and hard times. It helps me remember the God who authors my story and whose goodness and mercy follows me all the days of my life.

Remembering is important, but forgetting is easier.

I wish I always remembered God’s goodness in my life, but I don’t. I wish I always remembered that all things work together for good to those who love Him, but I don’t. I wish I always remembered to be thankful and prayerful in all things, but I don’t. I wish I always remembered how God answers prayer, but I don’t. This is no insignificant thing; forgetting what God is like is one of the greatest tragedies of our Christian walk.

This is why we are told in Scripture to take care, lest we forget.

Take Care Lest You Forget

Forgetting is a frustrating reality of the human experience. From the most important things to the most mundane; we are prone to forget. Whether it’s forgetting your anniversary or forgetting to put the laundry in the dryer, there’s no limit to our ability to forget. Forgetting can lead to minor inconveniences in our lives or cause major problems.

But there is something far more serious and problematic we are prone to forget; that is the Lord our God.

As I read through the Old Testament, I’m struck by Israel’s inability to remember God’s goodness. Yet it seems so often their story is our own. These aren’t just ancient stories; they are pictures of our present reality.

Imagine being enslaved 400 years only to be miraculously delivered from your masters. Imagine walking across a sea on dry ground then witnessing the destruction of your enemy right before your eyes by that same sea. Imagine being led by a pillar of smoke and fire in the desert. Imagine being provided for daily with food from the sky when you were starving. Imagine being given victory over enemy strongholds with much fewer men. Imagine watching a shepherd boy slay a giant with a stone. Imagine being the chosen people of God blessed beyond measure with the law of God and set apart as a testimony to all other nations.

God knew the Israelites would forget Him once they received His blessings. This is precisely the context in which he warns them in Deuteronomy 6:12: “Take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the Land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” And again in Deuteronomy 8:11: “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today.”

We see the same issue in Psalm 106: “They did not consider your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love” (Verse 7). “They soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel” (Verse 13). “They forgot God, their Savior, who had done great things in Egypt” (Verse 21).

Yet, in spite of all the blessings and the warnings, Israel forgot the Lord. They forgot what He was like continually.

Forgetting is a big deal to God.

What About Us?

Not us though, right? We would’ve been faithful! I’ve thought that when reading Israel’s history.

But now imagine being enslaved by sin only to be miraculously delivered through faith in Jesus Christ. Imagine possessing the Holy Spirit who daily guides you through all of life’s trials. Imagine having your physical needs met daily and abundantly. Imagine having the full armor of God at your disposal to take down enemy strongholds. Imagine being given the earth as an inheritance from generation to generation. Imagine being chosen by God before the foundation of the world to be called Friend, Child, and Bride of Christ. Imagine being set apart as a testimony of Christ to all nations.

Yet in spite of all these blessings, we forget the Lord. We forget what He is like continually.

We are not so different from the Israelites of old. Their story is our story. Forgetting the Lord has been in the DNA of His people throughout all time.

We forget the love He pursues us with. We forget about the trials He has carried us through. We forget about His mercies that are new every morning. We forget the immense blessings we’ve been given in Christ as a gift. We forget that He is sovereign over all things.

We begin to believe that God has forgotten us when it is us who have forgotten Him.

We must take care, lest we forget the Lord.

But You O Lord

I recently heard a podcast by Sinclaire Ferguson talking about the writer of Psalm 102 that was pure gold. It gave me great perspective on the dangers of forgetting God but also on the blessings of remembering Him. This Psalm provides all of us with a practical way to lift our spirits when the challenges in front of us seem so great.

Please take a few minutes to read this Psalm. In it you’ll find two radically different lenses the Psalmist puts on in light of his circumstance. Through verse 11, we find a man who has been hung out to dry. He’s defeated. He’s depressed. There is no evidence of joy or confidence in his words. He feels as though his days are “withering away like grass.” The name of God isn’t on his tongue.

Then in verse 12 something amazing happens! These 4 life-altering words are spoken by the Psalmist:

But you, O Lord

Sinclaire Ferguson describes the radical transition between verses 11 and 12 like this: “It’s as if the Psalmist has pressed the ignition switch. The engine of grace has been fired up. The spiritual memory file has unfrozen.”

In other words, the Psalmist turned his attention to the unchanging characteristics of God and away from his own distress.

Notice that this man’s situation did not change, but where he drew his gaze did. He did not deny the realities in front of him or wish them away. Instead, he remembered the Lord and what He is like and everything changed. It’s as though his troubles literally melted away in the light of God’s goodness.

We should remember these great words of transition, “But you O Lord.” They have the power to transform our disposition from sadness to gladness, from complaining to thanksgiving, and from doubt to faith.

When you feel the weight of uncertainty of your child’s future, say out loud: “But you O Lord have plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

When you don’t know if you’ll be able to have the patience today for the meltdowns and the outbursts, say out loud: “But you O Lord are patient toward us, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” (Psalm 103:8)

When you feel like even the most mundane things are hard, say out loud: “But you O Lord sympathize with our weaknesses.” (Hebrews 4:15)

When you’re exhausted, say out loud: “But you O Lord renew our strength.” (Isaiah 40:31)

When you feel sad about the way the world sees your child, say out loud: “But you O Lord bind the wounds of the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 147:3)

When you’re frustrated with your child’s struggle to communicate, say out loud: “But you O Lord understand them and know their words before they are spoken.” (Psalm 139:4)

When you’re having the most challenging day, say out loud: “But you O Lord are sovereign and work all things together for good.” (Romans 8:28)

When you’ve forgotten the blessings of God, say out loud: “But you O Lord remember your covenant forever.” (Psalm 105:7)

When you have sinned, confess and say out loud: “But you O Lord do not deal with us according to our sins nor repay us according to our iniquities.” (Psalm 103:10)

But you O Lord remember us.

Remembering Gods’ Goodness On The Autism Journey

How does this apply to our autism journey?

Anyone with a child with autism understands that the daily challenges are many. Not only many, but always changing. Each day brings the temptation to forget God’s goodness and focus instead on the challenges in front of us.

This journey is characterized by one step forward and two steps back. Each day brings a unique set of challenges. The temptation is to dwell on them, leading to frustration and disappointment. Sometimes all we can focus on in front of us is the next sea to cross, the next desert to wander through, or the next giant to fight.

It’s easy to forget what God has brought us through.

I remember well the days when Ellie was completely nonverbal. I remember praying over her at night asking God if He’d be willing to allow her to speak. I prayed desperately. I even bargained. I told Him that if He answered this one prayer, all would be okay and I wouldn’t need anything else.

God was kind to answer that prayer. But sadly the joy of answered prayer began to wane as new challenges arose. All I saw was the next giant in front of me and I forgot the goodness of God in answering that prayer. That’s just one of several examples.

It turns out I was dead wrong about something else too; I need God’s provision more as each day passes, not less, because the challenges aren’t going away this side of eternity.

But God has begun to help me see challenges as opportunities; opportunities to remember His goodness toward us. As each new challenge comes, it’s as if God says, “Are you going to trust me this time?” So I suppose, in the positive sense, God gives us an abundance of opportunities to remember Him on the autism journey.

To anyone else who shares in this journey full of challenges, say out loud, “but you O Lord give us an abundance of opportunities to remember you and to trust in you.”

As we set our gaze upon the Lord, let the engines of grace be fired up and our spiritual memory files unfrozen.

And let us all take care, lest we forget the Lord.

The post Remembering God’s Goodness appeared first on Autism4Christ.

As hard as it is to admit, in the shadows of my heart, I was bargaining with God. “Yes, he has speech delays, but he will catch up. Life can still go back to normal.” Over time, more delayed and disordered development became clear, but I still found myself thinking. “Ok, well, lots of boys struggle with this and that. After he gets speech/occupational/physical therapy then he will catch up. Life can still go back to normal.” My research into “speech delays” eventually grew into researching “pervasive developmental delays” until finally, finally I knew God was asking me to just let go. I knew we couldn’t explain his developmental wobbles and quirks any other way, and through teary eyes I began typing “Autism Spectrum Disorder” into the search bar.

Through those seemingly endless months of too much paperwork and too many appointments and too much grief and too many hurdles with a two year old and an infant on my hip, we still found Grace. Tucked in between hundreds of forms, on porch swings and in sidewalk chalk, around every new corner and developmental milestone, Grace truly abounded all the more.

Over two full years have passed since then, and God has remained gracious. Our son is now four years old and has made tremendous progress. With the help of our treatment team, he has consistently blown my expectations for him right out of the water. To say I am proud of him simply wouldn’t be enough. Even still, in His kindness, God has not removed the struggles our family has faced with disability, but has given us something better.

In the barest parts of my heart, the most honest and tender parts, I have to say that I’ve always been afraid of anything of which I’m unfamiliar. The unknown has been deeply uncomfortable. I felt inadequate when I came face to face with someone who was different from me, especially someone with a disability. “What should I say? What should I do? What if I make it worse?” And I think, deep down, the fear was, “what if this was a part of my life?”

Thanks to this fallen world and its curses, I could have lived out all my days with a shallow understanding of God’s love. I could have lived out all my days with a weak understanding of what it means to be whole, of what it means to be made in the image of God – what it means to be human. I could have lived out all my days in fear of the unknown, the uncontrollable, of grief and suffering.

Instead, Love intervened and stayed the hand of justice. In my suffering, He was merciful. He was not content to allow my heart to stay shallow and weak, riddled with fear. He chose instead to bind it ever closer to His. Because of His great mercy, pity has given way to compassion. Fear has given way to wonder. Most importantly, sympathy has given way to love. And what a love it is. It’s bigger, deeper, and richer. More and more vibrant as time passes. More and more real — more and more alive.

We have been given a beautiful life. That is our portion. A knock-the-wind-out-of-you beauty. An “is-this-for-real?” beauty. Beautiful people, an entire community we never would have had otherwise. Beauty inextricably linked with pain. The most difficult part of my life, side by side with the best.

God is not in the business of taking away something good and giving us something worse. He is, however, in the business of taking away something good in order to give us something better. I’m not brave. Left to myself, I would have chosen a smoother path, for all of us. I would have chosen less pain and more ease. I would have chosen comfort. Instead of those good things, God gave us better things. Instead of ease, He has given us patience. Instead of comfort, He has given us peace. Instead of “normal,” He has given us beauty.

Ultimately, He has given us more of Himself. The Almighty, here. In the midst of burnt dinners, diagnoses, crumby countertops, therapies, doctor’s appointments, and bedtimes. Beauty, side by side with our real life. Grace.

About The Author: Madeline Wilkins

I’m a former mental health counselor turned mother turned writer. I live in Chapin, SC with my husband and our three children ages 4, 2, and 9 months. When I’m not wrangling kids, you can find me writing — usually in the margins of life; carpool lines, parking lots, or waiting on Chick-fil-A curbside pickup. Basically my minivan is my office. I launched my poetry/writing website, MKWpoems.com, this spring and just self published my first children’s book, Gus’ Special, Magical, Most Favorite Hat — a story I wrote in honor of our son who has Autism, also available on the website. Parenting a child with special needs has been the biggest privilege and wildest ride of my life. When I’m not in my super glam office, I love spending time with my family, friends, and serving our community through our local church. Thanks for reading!

Visit MKWpoems.com

The post Grace All The More appeared first on Autism4Christ.

1. Deuteronomy 31:8

And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; Do not fear or be dismayed.

Deuteronomy 31:8

Life’s path for an autism parent and their child can seem uncertain, uncharted, undefined, and uncomfortable. Life for any person is uncertain but in our society today there is at least a general expectation, or path, that runs through traditional schooling, graduation, college, landing a J-O-B, getting married, having kids, raising your family, retiring, and enjoying grandchildren. There is variation and deviation of course, but that is the general path most strive toward. However, for many on the autism spectrum, their path doesn’t run through these “milestones”.

I am so comforted that this passage talks about the Lord being the “One who goes before you”. That’s what He did for the Israelites as He led them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. Our path isn’t uncertain to Him because He’s already charted the path ahead. He’s defined the way even as it meanders through hills, valleys, and thickets. God doesn’t just come alongside us on the journey, He’s already gone ahead of us, and because He’s gone ahead of us we can confidently forge ahead trusting that He is already there each step of the way.

2. Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Being a special needs parent will break you from time to time. It will reveal your sin and failures faster than anything else. I often feel like I’ve failed more than succeeded. Feelings of remorse and guilt are not uncommon. I hate feeling weak but I suppose I’d rather be made to feel weak rather than keep up with my delusions of strength.

It’s amazing how often I sense God’s presence or nearness when I am broken. It’s in those moments when all I want to do is flee from his presence out of guilt and shame that He seeks me out to demonstrate His love for me once again. Amazing love, how can it be?

3. Isaiah 12:2-3

Behold, God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid; For YAH, the Lord, is my strength and song; He also has become my salvation. Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

Isaiah 12:2-3

We saw from the Deuteronomy passage above that we can take comfort and not be afraid because the Lord goes before us. Here in Isaiah is another reason to not fear; because God is our salvation. Not only has he charted the path ahead, but He sustains us by His strength (not ours) along the way. And not only does He sustain us, He’s constantly saving us by drawing us back to Himself.

He bids us to come and draw joyfully from the deep well of salvation that never runs dry. It is at the well of Christ where the joy of salvation is restored and where we are upheld by his spirit (Psalm 51:12). Any other well will ultimately run dry because no other well has the power to save.

4. Isaiah 40:28-29

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.

Isaiah 40:28-19

The One who created the universe and wrote your story never grows tired. We can find renewed strength by resting in His. But how many times have you tried to rely on your own strength when the going gets tough? I like how Isaiah raises the questions rhetorically as if to say, “You should know this by now and I shouldn’t have to remind you again”. But like the Israelites of the Old Testament, I also need to be reminded again and again of the power and wisdom of God and that true strength is found in Him alone.

Furthermore, I can rarely make sense of what is going on around me. I don’t always understand how autism is being used as part of His plans and purposes. This verse reminds me that His understanding is beyond comprehension so I don’t have to worry about making sense of all life’s details.

5. Lamentations 3:22-23

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

As an autism parent, this is one of the most encouraging passages in the whole Bible. If it were not for His mercies being made fresh for me daily, I would be consumed by the stress and inadequacies that I feel. His mercies have nothing to do with our ability to be faithful to Him but everything to do with his great faithfulness toward us. His mercies are a daily gift we could never earn.

Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

6. Matthew 11:28-29

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

I recently finished a book titled, “Gentle and Lowly” by Dane Ortlund who unpacks this verse in great detail. It provided a window into the heart of Christ that I desperately needed to see for myself.

Here’s a couple statements from his book that really helped me reflect on the heart of Christ:

“You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come”.

“With Christ, our sins and weaknesses are the very resume items that qualify us to approach Him. Nothing but coming to Him is required – first at conversion and a thousand times thereafter until we are with him upon death”.

“Yes, we fail Christ as his disciples. But his advocacy on our behalf rises higher than our sins. His advocacy speaks louder than our failures. All is taken care of”.

Dane Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly

I don’t need to carry the burdens of guilt and shame any longer. Christ took that yoke upon himself and nailed it to the cross. That work is finished and now I can rest in the fact that He goes before me and is with me every step of the way of this autism journey.

7. Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good those who love God, to those are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

I talked about how important this verse has been to my own autism journey in a previous post, Autism and God’s (Good) Plan. The Holy Spirit settled it deep in my heart that “all things” include the autism Katie and I wrestle with. That is our present reality, but we have much joy and hope. Yes, we groan for future redemption and the day when all will be revealed. Although that day has not yet come, we can live in the reality of this truth today, that all things work together for good. 

All things include autism. It includes illness. Losing a job. The passing of a loved one. That’s tough to process through. My brain has trouble comprehending it.

So much of what we experience in the present doesn’t seem good to us. It’s during those times that we must trust in God’s understanding and not our own (Proverbs 3:5). It doesn’t mean it’s pain-free. It doesn’t mean we can’t have questions. But, we can have hope now in the present!

8. Romans 11:36

For from Him, through Him, and to Him are all things, to Him be the glory forever. Amen.

Romans 11:36

If ever there was a “that says it all in a nutshell” verse, Romans 11:36 would be it. It’s the verse that motivated me to begin Autism4Christ and continues to be the verse pushing me to continue. I wanted to figure out a way to use the challenges of parenting children with autism to ultimately glorify Him. I fail to do that regularly, but I know God can take a crooked stick and use it for His purposes. Everything is from Him. Everything is upheld by Him. And everything is for His glory…..including special needs like autism.

Here is what I wrote from my previous post, “Autism and God’s (Good) Plan: Part 2”.

“If God is glorified more greatly through my kids’ autism, then I can press on in life with hope and joy that surpasses understanding.

If autism allows me to stand in greater wonder of His goodness, then I can consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us (Romans 8:18).

We are not the author nor the main character in this crazy story of life. Jesus Christ is. But by God’s grace, He wants to use the threads of our life, no matter how significant or insignificant they seem, to redeem the world”.

9. Romans 15:13

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

When God fills us with joy and peace, hope abounds. But notice that we cannot manufacture abounding hope by our own power. It comes from the power of the Holy Spirit.

I admit, I feel hopeless sometimes. I lose sight of what God is doing through us. I become frustrated, irritable, and resentful toward the challenges of autism. I forget the big picture.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God has relentlessly sought to bring me out of those “funks” time and time again. He reminds me of the joy I have in Him. He reminds me of the peace that comes by trusting that He already has it all figured out.

10. 1 Peter 5:6-7

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Nothing has been more humbling than parenting kids with autism. It’s been one of God’s greatest tools of sanctification. It’s a sharp tool. As soon I think I have things under control, something happens to remind me nothing could be further from the truth.

The cares of my life are many. So many questions come in and out of my mind – What does the future hold for my kids? Will they be independent? Will they be taken advantage of? Will they be okay if something were to happen to Katie and I?

These are questions, or cares, that I must cast at the feet of Jesus realizing that His plans and purposes are greater than my own. We don’t need to be reluctant in doing so. This is an invitation to cast everything onto Him, and we can do so joyfully!

What an incredible comfort that is.

The post 10 Bible Verses Autism Parents Can Run To appeared first on Autism4Christ.

When I was seventeen, I started working at an overnight summer camp for kids and adults with intellectual disabilities.

Before working at Camp Hope, I had met only a few people who have disabilities. I knew intellectually that God made all people and that I should love and include people who are different, but I was uneasy interacting with people who had unique differences. For example, not understanding the speech of someone impacted by disability made me uncomfortable. When interacting with people with physical differences, I was unsure where to look. I was hesitant when I anticipated an awkward conversation.

Thinking back on that time, I see that I had a fear of awkward interactions. I didn’t have the skills needed to build relationships with people who seemed very different from me. I let that lack of skills scare me until my fear was nearly bigger than my desire to learn.

However, working at Camp Hope changed everything. As a counselor-in-training that summer, I was immersed in week-long sessions in the company of children, teens, and adults with disabilities.

I watched the staff and other counselors throw themselves into relationships with campers wholeheartedly, and I soon found myself feeling comfortable talking with and living among campers. Soon I realized how much I was gaining through knowing them.

Camp and campers changed my life for the better by teaching me about God’s perfect love for all his people, imperfect as we each are. Before working at Camp, I strived in my own works to make myself righteous. Living life that summer with campers taught me that it is okay to have needs and that these do not make me weak or unworthy of love. I was able to see strengths in campers and my own weaknesses in a safe environment, and Jesus was there. He taught me that summer, through my campers, to accept both grace and my need of it. The mercy and grace my campers gave to me when I made a mistake was life-changing. Jesus showed me through them that my imperfection has never stopped him from loving me. 

Because of my summers at Camp Hope, I decided to major in special education. Then I taught for five years in the public school system in South Carolina. Now I am preparing for full-time work in disability ministry with Engaging Disability With The Gospel, and will be coming alongside churches who want to disciple and enfold kids, teens, and adults with disabilities. Camp Hope taught me many things about myself and others, but I am most thankful that my experience with campers revealed the great joy of working with others impacted by disability.

I also learned that I have more in common with my friends with disabilities than I thought and that there is nothing to be afraid of. We have the same needs: to be loved, cared for, and respected. What once felt like a challenge became a blessing. I am so thankful for my time at camp, with campers, and the way they showed me what it means to be a loved child of Jesus.

Practical Tips

Over the last year as I have been in preparation for ministry, I’ve met many people who are eager to serve and love friends with disabilities but are hesitant to begin because they don’t feel like they know how to interact well. I recently spoke at a church where this was the case; during the Q&A time a few members said they knew they should be inclusive of two of their members with Down Syndrome but didn’t know how to talk to them. I remember that same feeling and was honored to get to share what I have learned.

Here are a few helpful tips for interacting with people touched by disability:

• Look the person in the eye when you speak to them: Even if a caretaker sometimes speaks for them, look at who you are speaking with and listen to what they have to share. Be sure to speak to the individual and not simply with their caregiver. 
• Converse at eye level: If the person you are speaking to is in a wheelchair, sit or kneel. When you are at eye level, both conversation partners feel like they are talking to an equal. Think of the way that Jesus entered our world on our level and how much that means for us. 
• Speak in a normal tone, like you would speak to a friend: Be sure to speak at an audible volume, but you don’t need to speak extra loudly unless asked to. Also be mindful not to speak with a “baby voice” or as if you are speaking to a child.    
• Share about yourself in addition to inquiring: Rather than asking many rapid-fire questions to the person you’re speaking with, share about yourself as well. This is especially helpful in conversations with people who may have speech and language differences or who are still developing conversational skills. 
• Speak simply and clearly: Ask one question or give one comment at a time and make it clear when you are changing subjects. Multiple prompts are confusing and hard to follow. It is okay if there is some silence between conversational turns. Many people with disabilities need time to process what you’ve said and form their response. Giving them time to do this is a way to love well.

People with disabilities are people just like you and me, and Jesus shows us love in tender and powerful ways. We can share the love of Jesus with people who seem different from us by seeking to be a friend.

While no one is perfect, all of us are called to love God’s people. Loving well is a learned skill and does not come naturally to anyone. If you don’t feel comfortable at first, this is not a sign that y ou are not cut out for relationships with those who seem different. It is a sign that there is room to grow. The best way to grow in comfort is to remember that all people are made in the image of God and not shy away from the potentially uncomfortable.

About The Author: Laura Dekle

A lifelong resident of South Carolina, I am a former special education teacher and have always called South Carolina home. I graduated from Clemson University with a bachelor’s degree in special education and now reside in Columbia. Currently I am serving as Ministry Engagement Coordinator for Engaging Disability With The Gospel where I am passionate about discipling and enfolding kids, teens, and adults with disabilities into the local church. I am also pursuing a degree in the Theology and Disability program of Western Theological Seminary. In my spare time, I love to read, write, run, and play with my dog. 

Sign Up For Laura’s Newsletter Here

The post Loving All God’s People Well appeared first on Autism4Christ.

Back in February, we sat down with a journalist from the publication and shared a little of our story with her. She had reached out to us about doing a featured article for April’s edition of the magazine to help support Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month. Needless to say, we jumped at the opportunity!

We enjoyed getting to share about the process leading up to diagnosis, the joys and the challenges, and talk about God’s goodness through it all.

You can use the article’s reader tool by clicking the link below or read right here from the page.

Read The Article Here

The post We Got To Be In A Magazine! appeared first on Autism4Christ.

April 2nd was World Autism Awareness & Acceptance Day, and to celebrate, our family joined others in our local community for an Inaugural Autism Awareness Walk & Picnic.

It was a blast!

Our local community has a very large polo field which was the perfect setting for the event. Friends of ours from church, Bryn and Lindsey Blaise, spearheaded the event and recently established the Tri-County Autism Community as a non-profit organization for the area. This is REALLY exciting and a HUGE step forward for our area which has lacked organized autism awareness events until now.

I’m excited to see how God uses the event to connect families in the area who are navigating the joys and challenges that autism brings.

The event began with the choice of a 1-mile or 5K walk around the polo field. My kids decided to walk about a 0.5K so they could head back to the field to jump on the giant inflatable playgrounds (no shock there!). Where were these giant inflatable things when I was a kid? Little soccer nets, Cornhole, Croquet, and a giant sized beach ball were available for entertainment as well. Tons of pizza, snacks, and what I can only describe as the best mini cakes I’ve ever had, were provide for lunch. Connecting over great food is always great fun!

Over 100 people attended the inaugural event making it a HUGE success.

And it wasn’t just families with kids with autism who attended. Many people in the community from local churches, schools, and businesses also came out to the walk to support friends and relatives.

It was an exciting day, and I am encouraged about what God is doing in our community!

Here are some photos from the event! Photos with (**) taken by Jeff Roach Photography.

The post Autism Awareness Walk a HUGE Success appeared first on Autism4Christ.

In honor of April being Autism Awareness Month, I thought this would be an ideal time to share that I have started a YouTube Channel under the name “Autism4Christ”! Click Here For My Channel.

I’ll admit, this is a bit out of my comfort zone and there will be a lot of growing pains….so please forgive the mishaps and awkward moments while I stumble through it.

I love to write for this blog. That is my comfort zone. So why also launch a YouTube Channel?

Well, it’s no secret that video content has become preferable for many people. But to be more specific, YouTube really draws in young men in their 20s-40s, so my hope is that God will lead young fathers (and mothers) who are navigating the trials of autism to the channel. I don’t anticipate millions of “likes” or subscribers, but if God can use it to reach some people who need it, then its worth it. I know I have personally found great Christian mentors on YouTube that I would never have found otherwise.

I also find video creation to be a lot of fun albeit a lot of work! Maybe its just an itch I’d like to scratch, but it seems God put the bug there.

Here is the first video I put together for the channel mainly as an introduction. Please also click here to got to my channel and subscribe!

Go easy on me, Haha!

The post The Autism4Christ YouTube Channel Just Launched! appeared first on Autism4Christ.

If you or friends or family live in the area, please come join us on Saturday, April 2nd at The Villages Polo Club. Details about the event are in the screen shot below.

You can register by clicking HERE!

The post Autism Awareness Walk and Picnic appeared first on Autism4Christ.

Sometimes I can’t help but sense God’s own pleasure when I look at my kids with great delight. Sometimes I feel a deep sense of gratitude for them just the way they are, autism and all. Sometimes I can’t help but worship Him for their unique complexities.

I love the way Ellie clenches her fists so tightly and pulls them up to her cheeks to self-regulate. I love the way Jack rehearses the routines for the day ahead and wants to hear the play-by-play on my end (in the correct order) when I pick him up from school. I love the way Lucy ends her prayers with “the end” instead of “amen”.

I love being a father. I’m blessed beyond measure because of it. There are moments when I I get it right.

And then there are moments that go a little something like this:

“I’M SO…… MAAAAAAD!!” Ellie shouted while running from room to room slamming doors. I followed her into the bedroom and in my calmest voice said, “Sorry honey, iPad time is all done.” Not satisfied with my response, she continued to run from one side of the house to the other slamming bedroom doors all while covering her ears and scripting from an episode of Daniel Tiger as she went. 

Any parent of a child with autism will tell you that managing outbursts and meltdowns is exhausting. It requires you to be fully present, patient, and calm to deal with it successfully. Fighting back your own irritation is half the battle.

As I continued to try to (calmly and patiently) diffuse the situation by helping Ellie go from The Hulk to Bruce Banner, Jack and Lucy decided it was the perfect moment to approach me with their own requests. “Daddy, popsicle please” said Jack. “Dad, come play with me” adds Lucy.

“Um, not right now guys, daddy is trying to help Ellie calm down.”

But what Lucy heard was, “Of course, sweetie. I’d love to play with you at this moment”, and Jack heard, “Yes, my son, whatever you want, I’m at your service.”

The outburst and door slamming continued. I followed Ellie to the other side of the house and we started doing some deep breathing and sensory compression to calm down. The other two came after me again…AGAIN!

“Dadeeeee”, says Lucy, “come plaaaay with mee”. “I just need one more treat,” adds Jack.

Now I’m annoyed. I can feel the stress and the tension coursing through my body. “No! Not yet. You have to wait!,” I responded. “Can’t you see Ellie is really struggling right now”? 

My sweet and not so innocent son and daughter could not sense the irritation in my response. Sooo they decided to test the waters again. Are they nuts?

Lucy, now also annoyed, yells, “Dadeee I neeed you”! Jack was present too, so he was guilty by association.

At this point, I had resolved to unleash my wrath and take a page from Ellie’s book and Hulk out on all my kids. “Lucy, I don’t want to play with you right now!! Out Out! Jack, you’ve already had like three popsicles! You don’t need another one! Get out!! Ellie, STOP SCREAMING!”, I say in my hypocritically loud tone.

Now I’m sure this type of exchange hits home with any parent. Our kids tend to conspire to gang up on us at the worst times. Nevertheless, I had failed my kids.

So yeah, there are those moments. I get it right sometimes, but boy do I get it wrong sometimes too.

A Means To An End

What I have found to be so incredible is that God graciously meets me more in my failures as a father than in any other relationship. That makes perfect sense, though. After all, God is our Heavenly Father, and because He is a father, perhaps he instituted parenthood as the biggest signpost to point us back to His loving arms.

His love never fails like ours, so when we face plant hard, we can find mercy and grace beyond comprehension. Not only does He cover our parent-fails, He gladly makes us wiser through them.

How we understand God as Father is vital to our Christian walk. Not that my understanding is deep; it’s really quite shallow. But God has been kind enough to deepen my understanding of Him through my role as an earthly father. How does He do this? I believe He does this not only explicitly through His Word but also implicitly by the nature in which we treat our kids.

We know explicitly from Scripture that God loves us. He’s told us and He’s demonstrated that love ultimately in Christ (Romans 5:8). Amen. But God also demonstrates His love for us through the relationships He gives us here right now. Being a father, or mother, is not an end in itself, but a means to an end…that end being to glorify God.

I admit, I don’t always see God the Father the way I ought. I tend to see my relationship with my kids as an end to itself. It becomes all about me and I begin to think I can do a better job as a father than Him.

(pause here for your laughter).

But I think we can all admit that we’ve been tempted to believe this lie; that our relationships are self-contained and we know better than God. As parents, we so frequently miss the greatest signpost that points back to Him. We all tend to wonder things about God that couldn’t be further from the truth. Here’s what I am getting at:

We delight in our kids but wonder if God delights in us.

We forgive our kids but wonder if God could forgive us.

We discipline our kids but think God won’t discipline or correct us.

We direct and lead our kids but wonder if God has left us to ourselves.

We give our kids affection but wonder if God is cold and closed off toward us.

We teach and instruct our kids but wonder if God has spoken clearly in His Word to us.

We invite our kids to come near so we can embrace them but wonder if we can approach God in the same way.

We go to bat for our kids but we wonder if God is on the sidelines.

We give our kids 2nd and 3rd chances but wonder if God has washed His hands of us.

We meet the needs of our kids but wonder if we can trust God to take care of us.

We continue to give grace to our kids but wonder if God’s grace has dried up.

We stop at nothing to protect our kids but wonder if God will protect us.

Parents are hardwired to do these things. Nobody really has to tell us that we ought to act in these ways toward our kids. From the moment of their birth, our deepest affections have been set toward them.

So how is it that we can so easily doubt the love of our Heavenly Father when we would never doubt the love we have for our own kids?

Seeing the (Perfect) Father

Here is the challenge to myself and to you reading this: The next time you begin to doubt God’s love for you or the next time you are tempted to think He’s far off or has abandoned you, try this: Go hug your kids. Go wrestle with them. Go to the park with them. Go out for ice cream. Go do whatever brings you and them joy together. And as deep levels of affection, happiness, and pleasure well up inside of you during those moments, remember that those feelings are but a shadow of the love and affection your Heavenly Father has for you. Remember this truth from Scripture…We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). Remember that His love is the precondition for the parental love we have for our kids.

You cannot love better than Him. You cannot give grace better than Him. You cannot forgive better than Him. You cannot protect better than Him.

But I think that’s the point. We can’t do parenthood perfectly, or even well enough at times, so we must run to our Heavenly Father who is perfect. Both our failures and our successes as parents should drive us to Him. And we can do so happily and without shame.

The First Time I got it Right

One thing about Facebook that I do appreciate is that I am able to go back years and see things I’ve posted (for better or worse). Here is what I wrote a couple days after Jack and Ellie were born:

When I look at my son and daughter, I am utterly amazed and completely humbled by God’s insane love for us. God’s word says that we are made in His image, that He is our Father, and that we are His children known intimately before the foundation of the world. I am in awestruck wonder that this incredible love that I feel pales in comparison to the infinite love that God our Father has for us.

April 17, 2016

On that day, I got it right. It was the first time I saw my imperfect fatherly love in light of the Heavenly Father’s perfect love. And it was beautiful.

The post A Father’s (Imperfect) Love appeared first on Autism4Christ.

One of my aims for this blog is to provide encouragement from God’s Word that demonstrates great purpose behind difficult circumstances. But I can only offer that which I need myself. I’ve needed God’s Word over and over again to encourage me when the difficulties of autism begin to discourage me. I wish I could say that I live in a constant state of encouragement, but the truth is, discouragement likes to rear its ugly head again and again. Thankfully, God’s Word is an ocean of encouragement.

What I love about Christ’s earthly ministry is that He aims to demonstrate spiritual truths through the lowliest people in society. The hopeless and the discouraged. He came to seek and to save the lost (Luke 19:10). I am captivated particularly with the story in John 9 where Jesus heals a blind man from birth.

Jesus explains in John 8 that he is the light of the world saying, “He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life (John 8:12).” Following this proclamation, we see the spiritual darkness exhibited by the Pharisees who attempt to stone Jesus at His claim to be God.

That’s a bit of context leading into John 9.

After escaping death and leaving the temple, John 9 begins by saying, “As Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind (John 9:1-2)?”

It’s worth noting that there isn’t any indication of a large time gap between Jesus’s escape and seeing the blind man. It could have occurred on the same day or even the same hour. The point is, there is clear continuity between chapters 8 and 9. Jesus is the Light of the World. And what better way to immediately demonstrate that spiritual reality than healing a person born into physical darkness?

Here we get to see the beauty and the glory of God’s plans and purposes at work in a person born with a disability.

A Well of Encouragement

Jesus saw him. A young blind man begging in the streets. That was his life. Born with a disability, he was destined for a beggar’s life. A life as a social outcast. A life with seemingly little purpose or meaning. A life of darkness. I imagine thousands passed by this man in the street without any attention paid to him. But Jesus saw him for a purpose.

Imagine, to never see but to be seen by the Savior of the world. The Light of the World.

I have to think that when Jesus saw the man that he looked at him long enough for His disciples to begin wondering why. In their minds, this was a pitiful man who must have sinned horribly to warrant his condition. Or, his parents had. Why else would this man be born blind? And why was their Rabbi taking note of him? A sinful blind man. Aren’t there more useful people out there who can be used for kingdom work?

How true is it that we, like the disciples, forget the grace that brought us out of our own darkness.

Interestingly, the disciples did not ask “if” he or the parents had sinned, but “who” sinned. It was assumed that sin was the cause of the man’s blindness and no other explanation was possible. Jesus crushed those assumptions and showed His disciples in a powerful way that His ways are not their ways.

Jesus replied to them, “Neither this man or his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him (John 9:3).”

This verse is a deep well of encouragement for special needs parents. We should draw from it whenever we feel discouraged.

Why?

Because I imagine every parent of a child with autism has wondered, at one time or another, what they did to cause an autism diagnosis. Am I being punished for a sin I committed? Did I make a wrong choice along the way? What could I have done differently? It’s not supposed to be this way.

We are all indeed sinners, but do not assume that sins or past mistakes are the cause of your child’s autism or other disability. That is clear from this encounter. God is sovereign and He had a plan for your child before the world was ever created.  Even if you had made a decision that in some way contributed to your child’s autism or other disability, is God not gracious? Can God not take a difficult situation and redeem it for His purposes? I think so!

Like the disciples, we all tend to ask God the wrong questions. Perhaps, instead of questions of self-condemnation, we can ask God how he can use disability to advance His kingdom, how He can sanctify us in the family He gave us, or how we can help others in a similar situation.

If we make these our aim, we may discover that the disability confronting us each day is one of God’s greatest measures of grace in our lives.

A Light of Grace in My Life

God has patiently been working in me through the lives of my kids. Katie and I have to help Ellie with many of the mundane things most 5-year-olds can do independently. It’s exhausting at times. I still lose patience and fail constantly (more about that in my post “Learning Patience is Rough!).”

But because of Ellie, I have a greater sense of my complete and utter dependence on God. I need Him more than she needs me. He has used the difficulties of autism to draw me back to His Word over and over again to discover what it’s like to lie down in green pastures and have my soul restored, as David wrote (Psalm 23). I’ve also learned to slow down and delight in the little things that can be easily overlooked – a new word or phrase spoken, a genuine interaction with a sibling, or her ability to know and sing “Jesus Loves Me.”

It’s true, there are many experiences that we may miss out on, but the positives in the experiences we do have are magnified.

And when Jesus talks about child-like faith and the kingdom of God belonging to such (Matthew 18:3), Jack is my clear picture of that truth. We as adults like to think we’ve reached a maturity in our faith that our children should emulate. While I may be able to comprehend theological concepts better than Jack and I hope he learns from me, I sometimes lose the child-like wonder God desires in His children. Jack humbles me in that area.

I still continue to ask the wrong questions, but God is at work. His purposes are beyond our comprehension.

Why Autism, Lord?

Back to the blind man in the story real quick. Jesus indeed healed him of his physical blindness. But even more important than that, He healed him from spiritual darkness and made him spiritually alive. As a result, the man believed in Jesus (John 9:38).

In contrast, the Pharisees believed they were enlightened because they followed the Mosaic law, yet they were spiritually blind. Jesus used this man to demonstrate that He came to this earth so the blind would see and those who see would become blind (v. 39).

If only he knew how big an impact his story would have on the rest of humanity.

A blind man from birth. A man hopeless, discouraged, and in darkness was used as a magnificent tool of God’s grace to help point others to the Light of the World, Jesus Christ.

When I ask, “Why autism, Lord?” He answers, “So that the works of God might be displayed in her/him.” The lowliest become the greatest object of God’s affection, not because of anything they have done, but because of His goodness. The foolish things of the world are used to shame the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27).

It grips my heart to think about what life would have been like for Ellie in Jesus’s time. She would have been passed by, given an odd look, and left to fend for herself. But Jesus never just passes by. He sees your child and He sees you. He may or may not physically heal your child as He did the blind man, but he may just use your trials to humble you, wreck your self-sufficiency, and heal you of your pride.

All of which are an ongoing work of His grace. A light of grace in the darkness.

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