In honor of April being Autism Awareness Month, I thought this would be an ideal time to share that I have started a YouTube Channel under the name “Autism4Christ”! Click Here For My Channel.

I’ll admit, this is a bit out of my comfort zone and there will be a lot of growing pains….so please forgive the mishaps and awkward moments while I stumble through it.

I love to write for this blog. That is my comfort zone. So why also launch a YouTube Channel?

Well, it’s no secret that video content has become preferable for many people. But to be more specific, YouTube really draws in young men in their 20s-40s, so my hope is that God will lead young fathers (and mothers) who are navigating the trials of autism to the channel. I don’t anticipate millions of “likes” or subscribers, but if God can use it to reach some people who need it, then its worth it. I know I have personally found great Christian mentors on YouTube that I would never have found otherwise.

I also find video creation to be a lot of fun albeit a lot of work! Maybe its just an itch I’d like to scratch, but it seems God put the bug there.

Here is the first video I put together for the channel mainly as an introduction. Please also click here to got to my channel and subscribe!

Go easy on me, Haha!

The post The Autism4Christ YouTube Channel Just Launched! appeared first on Autism4Christ.

It’s that wonderful time of year again! The sights, the smells, the music, the movie “Elf”…it’s all back! What a joyous time of year. A time of gatherings, a time to relax (maybe), a time to celebrate, a time to look forward, and a time to remember. It truly is, as Andy Williams sang, “The most wonderful time of the year.”

If you’re a parent of a child with autism, there’s probably other things on your mind too because this season can be overwhelming. Breaks in routines. Hustle and bustle. Large gatherings. Toys everywhere. It can be sensory overload even for us as parents. It’s important to find little ways to adjust so you can enjoy this time of year with your child without becoming too overwhelmed. That looks different for every family.

One thing we recognized early on, for example, was the importance of spacing out presents rather than giving them all at once. It helps our kids enjoy what’s in front of them rather than focusing on many items at once. And I guarantee that our daily household routines will still remain much the same even on Christmas Day. Overdoing it or changing too many things never works in our favor (which we’ve learned the hard way with Ellie in the past).

Jack is really diving into the holiday cheer this year. Each morning he’s enjoyed building tiny Legos from his advent calendar. He’s Mr. Countdown to Christmas. It’s fun for us to share in his excitement!

Ellie has been her steady self. I think she recognizes there is something different and special about the Christmas season, but she carries on as if it’s no big deal. Although she doesn’t show the same enthusiasm as Jack, it’s refreshing that she doesn’t get worked up over it all.

Lucy is, well, 3-years old. We never know what we are going to get with that one. She enjoys following Jack around, and if he’s excited about something, we know she will be too.

Speaking of Jack, I recently received feedback from a lady who has been helping with our kids in the children’s ministry. She said to me, “Jack really loves Jesus!”

What an amazing gift that was.

That was also encouraging because this year I’m having more conversations with Jack about Christmas and why we celebrate it. I try to keep it simple and avoid theologically-packed words such as “incarnation”…but maybe next year. Since Jack’s apparent love language is gifts (as it probably is for most 5-year-olds), I talk to him about how Jesus is the greatest gift we can receive…better than Duplo Legos and Paw Patrol. Next year I can have a debate with him about the number of wise men that came to see Jesus. Jack has learned that Jesus came to rescue us and He saves us from our sin. We will stick with that and call it a big win!

Below is a recent Q&A I had with Jack in the car about Christmas. Enjoy!

A Tree to Remember

This year I’ve been pondering the tradition of putting up Christmas trees in our home. Why do we do it? Why do we rearrange the furniture to make room for these 7, 8, 9-foot structures? Is it simply just a feel-good tradition? They do indeed make us feel good inside. I recently caught myself staring at one of our trees and just enjoying the beauty of it (We’ve graduated from one tree to two trees to now three trees!). The classic song came to my mind while I gazed:

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

Something about the ambience of a Christmas tree changes the feel of an entire home. Good feelings. Warm feelings. Nothing puts people in the mood for the Christmas season more than a Christmas tree, unless you enjoy watching Hallmark movies before Thanksgiving (ahem, my wife). Her favorite Hallmark movie is the one where the guy and girl actually end up together in the end.

Christmas Trees bring wonderful traditions! Some of you run out to tree farms to cut down your own tree. Some of you grab it out of the attic year after year. My family wasn’t the tree hunting-type, but it’s okay, I am not biased either way…even though I know some of you stick your nose up to people who prefer artificial trees (admit it!). But before you judge me, just know that my tree growing up not only played music, but it also spun slowly in a circle. I thought it was the coolest tree in the world. Real trees can’t do that!

Putting the Christmas Tree up as a kid was a big deal. The excitement of it was second only to waking up Christmas morning. I had to be part of setting it up by putting every single ornament on the tree that could fit. Literally, EVERY ornament until EVERY square inch of the tree was covered. Then, as gifts began to pile under the tree, I would lay on the floor next to the tree enjoying it’s spinning mechanism and dream of Christmas morning.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

I imagine the traditions surrounding your family’s Christmas tree are also personal. As I just mentioned, some love artificial trees while some love real trees. Some fancy flocked trees while some prefer unflocked (I’m surprised that’s a real word). Some prefer white lights on their tree while others prefer multi-colored lights. Some trees even give you up to 8 (yes, 8!) lighting options like one of ours. Some people like to put popcorn on their tree while others do the tinsel thing. Some adorn their tree with beautifully color-coordinated ornaments while some place paint-splattered ornaments their kids made in Kindergarten. Some fasten a star at the top of their tree while others may place an angel or a bow. I have friends who have a tradition of setting a clapping monkey on top of their tree and I have the evidence in the picture below!

Yes, Christmas trees are indeed personal…but that’s what makes them so special to us.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

A Tale of Two Trees

Let me challenge you this year to consider two other trees that ought to be immensely personal to us. Two trees to remember when you consider the splendid beauty of your own tree(s).

A tree of knowledge that led to death

A tree of death that led to life.

It began with a tree in the Garden of Eden. There was no death, no pain, and no suffering there – just beautiful communion between God and Adam and Eve. In the garden, there was the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Most of us know the story well by now. God warned Adam and Eve, “Ye shall surely die” if you eat of its fruit (Genesis 2:17). Yet, being tempted by the serpent, they disobeyed God and ate, resulting in the curse of death over mankind. 

I’ve struggled with the idea of God placing this tree in the garden with its boundaries. Why go through with it? But as I’ve pondered it more, I began to think about its representation of God’s law and the impossibility of man keeping it. God’s law is perfect and good. Man-made law doesn’t even come close. Like this tree, God’s law brings condemnation to the hearts of man in order to reveal to us our need for a Savior.

That’s it’s ultimate purpose – to point us to salvation.

The first Adam had failed, but God had a plan! The tree of knowledge of good and evil was the first signpost leading to another tree…a tree of death that would give us life. The cross.

When I consider the cross, I immediately think about the mercy of God, the grace of God, and the love of God demonstrated in Christ. As we should every day! But you can’t clearly see the mercy, grace, and love of the cross unless they are placed on the backdrop of God’s justice and holiness.

At the cross, law and grace kissed. Justice and mercy embraced. All of God’s attributes were on full display.

Christ came to earth at His appointed time and we celebrate and rejoice! We rejoice at Jesus’ birth because we were given a way to peace with God leading to unending joy.

But when you see your Christmas tree in splendid glory, remember that first tree in the garden; how it led to death but paved a road to redemption. A road leading to the cross. Jesus Christ was despised, rejected, afflicted, oppressed, stricken, and smitten by God so that we could be loved, accepted, and uplifted (Isaiah 53:1-7).

Paul Tripp puts it this way:

Jesus was willing to be despised. He was willing to face rejection. He was willing to subject himself to hatred and violence. He was even willing to have the Father turn His back on him. Why was he willing to do all this> He did it willingly so that, as children, you and I would be able to live in the hope and peace of knowing that no matter what we face in the human community, we are perfectly and eternally loved by him. He endured rejection so that we would know God’s accepting love forever and ever and ever. How amazing is this grace!

Paul Tripp, New Morning Mercies

When you celebrate around your Christmas tree this season, remember that you have that privilege because of another tree. A tree not adorned with ornaments, lights, or popcorn – but one adorned with the life-giving blood of Christ.

Oh Rugged Cross, Oh Rugged Cross, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

I pray this Christmas season that you will be blessed as you enjoy friends and family, light candles and sing songs, maybe eat cinnamon rolls (Jack’s favorite), give gifts to each other, watch “The Christmas Story”, and celebrate the birth of Christ.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

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When we began realizing that an autism diagnosis was our reality, the 5 stages of grief also became a reality. Denial – This isn’t really happening is it? Everything will be fine, right? Anger – This isn’t fair! I didn’t sign up for this! Bargaining – What if we had done that differently? If only I had done this. Depression – Feeling hopeless and discouraged. Acceptance – This is our reality and we will seek to glorify God in it. None of these stages are linear. I have periods when I experience a peace that passes understanding. I have others when I feel I’m in a pit of despair.

Autism is a journey.

But it’s a journey more akin to a long road trip rather than a direct flight – where you stop to appreciate the beauty of a monument or landscape but you also run into breakdowns, road rage, and constant refuelings (along with car sickness and child meltdowns). Can you tell I enjoy car rides?

On this journey, I’ve walked and talked with God on the highest hills and in some of the deepest valleys. One thing holds true; His love never fails. He’s the beautiful monument and breathtaking landscape that makes the journey worth it.

I…Love…You

“Ellie. Ellie. I…Love…You.”

…

“Let’s try it again. I…Love…You.”

…

“I…Love…You. Goodnight sweetie.”

Over the course of Ellie’s first 4+ years, she was nonverbal. Like a broken record, we practiced non-stop verbal repetition at all times. We tried prompting her to speak by repeating words like “up”, “down”, “yes”, “no”, “all done”, “more”, etc., while always pointing to our mouths with intense tone inflection. We also integrated basic sign language and used a video speech program that focused on the formation of the mouth when making sounds. We were always hopeful that she would one day speak, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t mentally preparing for the possibility of my daughter never speaking. What a mental and spiritual battle that was.

Speech is always taken for granted. It’s assumed and expected. When it doesn’t happen, it’s crushing. Every parent desires to understand their child’s wants and needs. Not being able to discern what that is and only getting cries of frustration is very disheartening. It’s a helpless feeling.

Even though we couldn’t tell whether or not our words were sinking in, we desperately wanted Ellie to hear over and over that she was loved. I would repeat “I love you” over and over before kissing her goodnight. I would kneel beside her and pray desperately asking God if He’d be willing to bring forth speech in her. The hardest part was praying “Your will be done.”

Relinquishing Control

Praying through “Your will be done” is so difficult primarily because it’s a relinquishing of control and placing it in God’s hands. It’s the admission of, “Okay God, here I am. I’m ready to submit to You no matter what you have in store for me.” We are all control freaks at heart (admit it) and need His rescue. Sure, God’s will can be done in certain areas of our life with little complaint, but when it comes to our kids, that may be the toughest control to relinquish. We somehow think they are off-limits, even to God, and we know better than Him. But God says, “No, they are mine too.”

We should try to love our kids with open hands. Otherwise, God will have to pry them open. His plans and His purposes are always greater than our own, although it may be confusing at times. We aren’t called to understand. Lean not on that (Proverbs 3:5). But we are called to trust in faith that He operates for our good and for His glory.

Sometimes, God answers our prayers and gives us the desires of our hearts. Sometimes, He doesn’t for reasons we don’t always understand. But, there is a peace God brings to our hearts when we submit our wants and desires to His will.

There are things in this life we desire for Ellie that will probably never come to fruition. Contending with that is a challenge and will continue to be, but God has been so good to us and has answered many of our prayers. The greatest answered prayer has been with her progress with communication.

Praise for Progress!

About a year ago, something really incredible started to happen. Ellie was starting to make connections with our communication toward her. The repetition of “I love you” had become a prompt for a kiss in her mind, so she began leaning her head forward toward my face for a kiss after we said, “I love you”. She was making a connection between the two. That was a pretty special moment and we knew she was on the right track.

Soon after, she began mimicking and forming the word “you” with her mouth as we said it to her. The words were clearly in her mind and she was working on the facial structure to push the words out.

Then the verbal attempts began! It was very jumbled at first, but she was trying hard. “I love you” started coming out as “Ah. vvv. Ooo.” She would hold her hand up to her mouth as she spoke to feel the breath coming out of her mouth. She also started leaning forward extra emphatically for a goodnight kiss.

I’m excited to share that Ellie can now voice the words “I love you” clearly! I can’t ever take that for granted. I must not. God answered our prayers in that way, and all the glory goes to Him. It’s a demonstration of His immeasurable kindness toward us. We aren’t owed a thing. There’s still so much work to be done and progress to be made, but this will always be a pivotal part of our journey. Like a stop at the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls on the road trip. The type of stop that reminds you that the journey is worth it.

Because He First Loved Us

I mentioned earlier that God’s love never fails. Sometimes that love is demonstrated in ways we don’t expect. Through the journey with our kids and autism, God has revealed the fickleness of my own heart and my propensity to doubt His love for me. He’s revealing dark corners in my heart that need to be brought to light. He’s wrecking my self-sufficiency and pushing me more toward total dependence on Him. That’s the sort of love I need.

Some days are so hard, but I never doubt the immense love I have for Ellie, Jack, or Lucy even on their (and my) worst days. So how is it that we can so easily doubt God’s love for us when we would never doubt our own love for our kids? Are we better demonstrators of love than God? The absurdity of the thought. We only love because He first loved us and He loves us more deeply than we can imagine.

In love, God uses the trials of parenthood to draw you to Himself. It’s one of His sharpest tools of sanctification. It works to amputate our arrogance, sever our selfishness, and pierce our pride. All the while we are being carved and molded to be more like Him.

So whenever you are in doubt of God’s love for you, remember the love that you have for your kids and ask yourself if that love is greater than His. It helps to reorient ourselves and turn us away from doubt.

If nothing else, remember the cross. Remember that He did not spare his own son. Remember that condescension. Remember that great exchange for those who believe; that not only were your sins paid for but that Christ’s righteousness has been lavished upon you. That’s His way of saying,

I…Love…You.

And there is nothing in this life that’s greater than that love (John 15:13).

A HUGE Thank You!

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I wanted to say how thankful we are for the incredible people God has placed in Ellie’s life who have prayed for her and who have worked closely with her. We’ve worked so hard at helping her communicate, but so much credit goes to her incredible teachers and therapists who God placed in her life. When she began more intensive ABA therapy at age 4, her first therapist was confident she’d be verbalizing her wants and needs in the near future. “Oh yeah,” she’d say, “She’s going to get there, you just wait and see!” I was hopeful, but not as confident as she. That was really encouraging for us to hear.

Please continue to pray for us as we navigate through recurring challenges and new challenges. Pray for others who may be discouraged on their journey navigating the challenges with autism or parenting in general. Pray that God would demonstrate His kindness and restore peace to the souls that need it most. Only He can fill us and satisfy our deepest longings.

Sweet Ellie (Video)

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Joy Heightened

Sensory processing is challenging for many on the autism spectrum, like Jack and Ellie. Sights and smells can be overstimulating, average sounds can be too loud, tastes and textures can be a war, and touch can be overwhelming. 

This is why some on the autism spectrum have a limited diet, wear headphones, need quiet places to decompress, shy away from physical touch, or lack eye contact. 

These are things my kids will one day have to enlighten me about from their own experience. I can only speak from my own observations as a parent, but for them, it’s daily living.

While it’s easy to label these characteristics as disadvantages, I’ve come to see that my kids have the ability to experience the physical world to a higher degree than I can. At times, their joy seems to be heightened too.

Jack, for example, will emphatically point out that he hears an airplane even when it’s so high in the sky you can barely see it. He can also pick out a fire truck, school bus, or police car on the road hundreds of yards before it would cross my mind.

Jack: Look! Dad, a school bus!

Me: Where? Where bud?

Jack: Right there!

Me: Uhhh, I don’t see…..(I begin to say while squinting and staring toward the horizon until I see the little blob of yellow far off in the distance). Woah, you’re right bud! I see that school bus now (on the other side of the world). 

This happens a lot.

Ellie gets super pumped up over running water and wind hitting her face. Stick a running hose over her head and you’ll witness pure joy (See Ellie below at a splash pad when she was 3). I’ve always loved this video for some reason.

She’s in her own world, yes, but oh so happy.

But one of my favorite experiences is seeing Ellie’s reaction to the wind hitting her face in the car (see video above). It’s evidently a powerful sensory experience for her. It’s hilarious and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve witnessed because she doesn’t contain her excitement! I had to create a little video montage to share with you.

I think God has blessed her with the ability to enjoy these types of experiences in a way I never could. 

Perhaps on the other side of eternity, I will too.

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