Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.

Psalm 23:6

I love looking through old pictures and videos taken over the course of my life. Even as a young child, I would take home videos my parents created and watch them religiously (on VHS, of course). Now with our ever advancing technology, I have an endless number of photos and videos, most of which will probably be lost in “the cloud” never to be seen again.

But when I do have the time, I love scanning through the electronic folders overflowing with memories galore because it helps me picture my life in chapters. It helps me remember good times and hard times. It helps me remember the God who authors my story and whose goodness and mercy follows me all the days of my life.

Remembering is important, but forgetting is easier.

I wish I always remembered God’s goodness in my life, but I don’t. I wish I always remembered that all things work together for good to those who love Him, but I don’t. I wish I always remembered to be thankful and prayerful in all things, but I don’t. I wish I always remembered how God answers prayer, but I don’t. This is no insignificant thing; forgetting what God is like is one of the greatest tragedies of our Christian walk.

This is why we are told in Scripture to take care, lest we forget.

Take Care Lest You Forget

Forgetting is a frustrating reality of the human experience. From the most important things to the most mundane; we are prone to forget. Whether it’s forgetting your anniversary or forgetting to put the laundry in the dryer, there’s no limit to our ability to forget. Forgetting can lead to minor inconveniences in our lives or cause major problems.

But there is something far more serious and problematic we are prone to forget; that is the Lord our God.

As I read through the Old Testament, I’m struck by Israel’s inability to remember God’s goodness. Yet it seems so often their story is our own. These aren’t just ancient stories; they are pictures of our present reality.

Imagine being enslaved 400 years only to be miraculously delivered from your masters. Imagine walking across a sea on dry ground then witnessing the destruction of your enemy right before your eyes by that same sea. Imagine being led by a pillar of smoke and fire in the desert. Imagine being provided for daily with food from the sky when you were starving. Imagine being given victory over enemy strongholds with much fewer men. Imagine watching a shepherd boy slay a giant with a stone. Imagine being the chosen people of God blessed beyond measure with the law of God and set apart as a testimony to all other nations.

God knew the Israelites would forget Him once they received His blessings. This is precisely the context in which he warns them in Deuteronomy 6:12: “Take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the Land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” And again in Deuteronomy 8:11: “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today.”

We see the same issue in Psalm 106: “They did not consider your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love” (Verse 7). “They soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel” (Verse 13). “They forgot God, their Savior, who had done great things in Egypt” (Verse 21).

Yet, in spite of all the blessings and the warnings, Israel forgot the Lord. They forgot what He was like continually.

Forgetting is a big deal to God.

What About Us?

Not us though, right? We would’ve been faithful! I’ve thought that when reading Israel’s history.

But now imagine being enslaved by sin only to be miraculously delivered through faith in Jesus Christ. Imagine possessing the Holy Spirit who daily guides you through all of life’s trials. Imagine having your physical needs met daily and abundantly. Imagine having the full armor of God at your disposal to take down enemy strongholds. Imagine being given the earth as an inheritance from generation to generation. Imagine being chosen by God before the foundation of the world to be called Friend, Child, and Bride of Christ. Imagine being set apart as a testimony of Christ to all nations.

Yet in spite of all these blessings, we forget the Lord. We forget what He is like continually.

We are not so different from the Israelites of old. Their story is our story. Forgetting the Lord has been in the DNA of His people throughout all time.

We forget the love He pursues us with. We forget about the trials He has carried us through. We forget about His mercies that are new every morning. We forget the immense blessings we’ve been given in Christ as a gift. We forget that He is sovereign over all things.

We begin to believe that God has forgotten us when it is us who have forgotten Him.

We must take care, lest we forget the Lord.

But You O Lord

I recently heard a podcast by Sinclaire Ferguson talking about the writer of Psalm 102 that was pure gold. It gave me great perspective on the dangers of forgetting God but also on the blessings of remembering Him. This Psalm provides all of us with a practical way to lift our spirits when the challenges in front of us seem so great.

Please take a few minutes to read this Psalm. In it you’ll find two radically different lenses the Psalmist puts on in light of his circumstance. Through verse 11, we find a man who has been hung out to dry. He’s defeated. He’s depressed. There is no evidence of joy or confidence in his words. He feels as though his days are “withering away like grass.” The name of God isn’t on his tongue.

Then in verse 12 something amazing happens! These 4 life-altering words are spoken by the Psalmist:

But you, O Lord

Sinclaire Ferguson describes the radical transition between verses 11 and 12 like this: “It’s as if the Psalmist has pressed the ignition switch. The engine of grace has been fired up. The spiritual memory file has unfrozen.”

In other words, the Psalmist turned his attention to the unchanging characteristics of God and away from his own distress.

Notice that this man’s situation did not change, but where he drew his gaze did. He did not deny the realities in front of him or wish them away. Instead, he remembered the Lord and what He is like and everything changed. It’s as though his troubles literally melted away in the light of God’s goodness.

We should remember these great words of transition, “But you O Lord.” They have the power to transform our disposition from sadness to gladness, from complaining to thanksgiving, and from doubt to faith.

When you feel the weight of uncertainty of your child’s future, say out loud: “But you O Lord have plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

When you don’t know if you’ll be able to have the patience today for the meltdowns and the outbursts, say out loud: “But you O Lord are patient toward us, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” (Psalm 103:8)

When you feel like even the most mundane things are hard, say out loud: “But you O Lord sympathize with our weaknesses.” (Hebrews 4:15)

When you’re exhausted, say out loud: “But you O Lord renew our strength.” (Isaiah 40:31)

When you feel sad about the way the world sees your child, say out loud: “But you O Lord bind the wounds of the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 147:3)

When you’re frustrated with your child’s struggle to communicate, say out loud: “But you O Lord understand them and know their words before they are spoken.” (Psalm 139:4)

When you’re having the most challenging day, say out loud: “But you O Lord are sovereign and work all things together for good.” (Romans 8:28)

When you’ve forgotten the blessings of God, say out loud: “But you O Lord remember your covenant forever.” (Psalm 105:7)

When you have sinned, confess and say out loud: “But you O Lord do not deal with us according to our sins nor repay us according to our iniquities.” (Psalm 103:10)

But you O Lord remember us.

Remembering Gods’ Goodness On The Autism Journey

How does this apply to our autism journey?

Anyone with a child with autism understands that the daily challenges are many. Not only many, but always changing. Each day brings the temptation to forget God’s goodness and focus instead on the challenges in front of us.

This journey is characterized by one step forward and two steps back. Each day brings a unique set of challenges. The temptation is to dwell on them, leading to frustration and disappointment. Sometimes all we can focus on in front of us is the next sea to cross, the next desert to wander through, or the next giant to fight.

It’s easy to forget what God has brought us through.

I remember well the days when Ellie was completely nonverbal. I remember praying over her at night asking God if He’d be willing to allow her to speak. I prayed desperately. I even bargained. I told Him that if He answered this one prayer, all would be okay and I wouldn’t need anything else.

God was kind to answer that prayer. But sadly the joy of answered prayer began to wane as new challenges arose. All I saw was the next giant in front of me and I forgot the goodness of God in answering that prayer. That’s just one of several examples.

It turns out I was dead wrong about something else too; I need God’s provision more as each day passes, not less, because the challenges aren’t going away this side of eternity.

But God has begun to help me see challenges as opportunities; opportunities to remember His goodness toward us. As each new challenge comes, it’s as if God says, “Are you going to trust me this time?” So I suppose, in the positive sense, God gives us an abundance of opportunities to remember Him on the autism journey.

To anyone else who shares in this journey full of challenges, say out loud, “but you O Lord give us an abundance of opportunities to remember you and to trust in you.”

As we set our gaze upon the Lord, let the engines of grace be fired up and our spiritual memory files unfrozen.

And let us all take care, lest we forget the Lord.

The post Remembering God’s Goodness appeared first on Autism4Christ.

1. Deuteronomy 31:8

And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; Do not fear or be dismayed.

Deuteronomy 31:8

Life’s path for an autism parent and their child can seem uncertain, uncharted, undefined, and uncomfortable. Life for any person is uncertain but in our society today there is at least a general expectation, or path, that runs through traditional schooling, graduation, college, landing a J-O-B, getting married, having kids, raising your family, retiring, and enjoying grandchildren. There is variation and deviation of course, but that is the general path most strive toward. However, for many on the autism spectrum, their path doesn’t run through these “milestones”.

I am so comforted that this passage talks about the Lord being the “One who goes before you”. That’s what He did for the Israelites as He led them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. Our path isn’t uncertain to Him because He’s already charted the path ahead. He’s defined the way even as it meanders through hills, valleys, and thickets. God doesn’t just come alongside us on the journey, He’s already gone ahead of us, and because He’s gone ahead of us we can confidently forge ahead trusting that He is already there each step of the way.

2. Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Being a special needs parent will break you from time to time. It will reveal your sin and failures faster than anything else. I often feel like I’ve failed more than succeeded. Feelings of remorse and guilt are not uncommon. I hate feeling weak but I suppose I’d rather be made to feel weak rather than keep up with my delusions of strength.

It’s amazing how often I sense God’s presence or nearness when I am broken. It’s in those moments when all I want to do is flee from his presence out of guilt and shame that He seeks me out to demonstrate His love for me once again. Amazing love, how can it be?

3. Isaiah 12:2-3

Behold, God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid; For YAH, the Lord, is my strength and song; He also has become my salvation. Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

Isaiah 12:2-3

We saw from the Deuteronomy passage above that we can take comfort and not be afraid because the Lord goes before us. Here in Isaiah is another reason to not fear; because God is our salvation. Not only has he charted the path ahead, but He sustains us by His strength (not ours) along the way. And not only does He sustain us, He’s constantly saving us by drawing us back to Himself.

He bids us to come and draw joyfully from the deep well of salvation that never runs dry. It is at the well of Christ where the joy of salvation is restored and where we are upheld by his spirit (Psalm 51:12). Any other well will ultimately run dry because no other well has the power to save.

4. Isaiah 40:28-29

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.

Isaiah 40:28-19

The One who created the universe and wrote your story never grows tired. We can find renewed strength by resting in His. But how many times have you tried to rely on your own strength when the going gets tough? I like how Isaiah raises the questions rhetorically as if to say, “You should know this by now and I shouldn’t have to remind you again”. But like the Israelites of the Old Testament, I also need to be reminded again and again of the power and wisdom of God and that true strength is found in Him alone.

Furthermore, I can rarely make sense of what is going on around me. I don’t always understand how autism is being used as part of His plans and purposes. This verse reminds me that His understanding is beyond comprehension so I don’t have to worry about making sense of all life’s details.

5. Lamentations 3:22-23

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

As an autism parent, this is one of the most encouraging passages in the whole Bible. If it were not for His mercies being made fresh for me daily, I would be consumed by the stress and inadequacies that I feel. His mercies have nothing to do with our ability to be faithful to Him but everything to do with his great faithfulness toward us. His mercies are a daily gift we could never earn.

Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

6. Matthew 11:28-29

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

I recently finished a book titled, “Gentle and Lowly” by Dane Ortlund who unpacks this verse in great detail. It provided a window into the heart of Christ that I desperately needed to see for myself.

Here’s a couple statements from his book that really helped me reflect on the heart of Christ:

“You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come”.

“With Christ, our sins and weaknesses are the very resume items that qualify us to approach Him. Nothing but coming to Him is required – first at conversion and a thousand times thereafter until we are with him upon death”.

“Yes, we fail Christ as his disciples. But his advocacy on our behalf rises higher than our sins. His advocacy speaks louder than our failures. All is taken care of”.

Dane Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly

I don’t need to carry the burdens of guilt and shame any longer. Christ took that yoke upon himself and nailed it to the cross. That work is finished and now I can rest in the fact that He goes before me and is with me every step of the way of this autism journey.

7. Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good those who love God, to those are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

I talked about how important this verse has been to my own autism journey in a previous post, Autism and God’s (Good) Plan. The Holy Spirit settled it deep in my heart that “all things” include the autism Katie and I wrestle with. That is our present reality, but we have much joy and hope. Yes, we groan for future redemption and the day when all will be revealed. Although that day has not yet come, we can live in the reality of this truth today, that all things work together for good. 

All things include autism. It includes illness. Losing a job. The passing of a loved one. That’s tough to process through. My brain has trouble comprehending it.

So much of what we experience in the present doesn’t seem good to us. It’s during those times that we must trust in God’s understanding and not our own (Proverbs 3:5). It doesn’t mean it’s pain-free. It doesn’t mean we can’t have questions. But, we can have hope now in the present!

8. Romans 11:36

For from Him, through Him, and to Him are all things, to Him be the glory forever. Amen.

Romans 11:36

If ever there was a “that says it all in a nutshell” verse, Romans 11:36 would be it. It’s the verse that motivated me to begin Autism4Christ and continues to be the verse pushing me to continue. I wanted to figure out a way to use the challenges of parenting children with autism to ultimately glorify Him. I fail to do that regularly, but I know God can take a crooked stick and use it for His purposes. Everything is from Him. Everything is upheld by Him. And everything is for His glory…..including special needs like autism.

Here is what I wrote from my previous post, “Autism and God’s (Good) Plan: Part 2”.

“If God is glorified more greatly through my kids’ autism, then I can press on in life with hope and joy that surpasses understanding.

If autism allows me to stand in greater wonder of His goodness, then I can consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us (Romans 8:18).

We are not the author nor the main character in this crazy story of life. Jesus Christ is. But by God’s grace, He wants to use the threads of our life, no matter how significant or insignificant they seem, to redeem the world”.

9. Romans 15:13

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

When God fills us with joy and peace, hope abounds. But notice that we cannot manufacture abounding hope by our own power. It comes from the power of the Holy Spirit.

I admit, I feel hopeless sometimes. I lose sight of what God is doing through us. I become frustrated, irritable, and resentful toward the challenges of autism. I forget the big picture.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God has relentlessly sought to bring me out of those “funks” time and time again. He reminds me of the joy I have in Him. He reminds me of the peace that comes by trusting that He already has it all figured out.

10. 1 Peter 5:6-7

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Nothing has been more humbling than parenting kids with autism. It’s been one of God’s greatest tools of sanctification. It’s a sharp tool. As soon I think I have things under control, something happens to remind me nothing could be further from the truth.

The cares of my life are many. So many questions come in and out of my mind – What does the future hold for my kids? Will they be independent? Will they be taken advantage of? Will they be okay if something were to happen to Katie and I?

These are questions, or cares, that I must cast at the feet of Jesus realizing that His plans and purposes are greater than my own. We don’t need to be reluctant in doing so. This is an invitation to cast everything onto Him, and we can do so joyfully!

What an incredible comfort that is.

The post 10 Bible Verses Autism Parents Can Run To appeared first on Autism4Christ.

One of my aims for this blog is to provide encouragement from God’s Word that demonstrates great purpose behind difficult circumstances. But I can only offer that which I need myself. I’ve needed God’s Word over and over again to encourage me when the difficulties of autism begin to discourage me. I wish I could say that I live in a constant state of encouragement, but the truth is, discouragement likes to rear its ugly head again and again. Thankfully, God’s Word is an ocean of encouragement.

What I love about Christ’s earthly ministry is that He aims to demonstrate spiritual truths through the lowliest people in society. The hopeless and the discouraged. He came to seek and to save the lost (Luke 19:10). I am captivated particularly with the story in John 9 where Jesus heals a blind man from birth.

Jesus explains in John 8 that he is the light of the world saying, “He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life (John 8:12).” Following this proclamation, we see the spiritual darkness exhibited by the Pharisees who attempt to stone Jesus at His claim to be God.

That’s a bit of context leading into John 9.

After escaping death and leaving the temple, John 9 begins by saying, “As Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind (John 9:1-2)?”

It’s worth noting that there isn’t any indication of a large time gap between Jesus’s escape and seeing the blind man. It could have occurred on the same day or even the same hour. The point is, there is clear continuity between chapters 8 and 9. Jesus is the Light of the World. And what better way to immediately demonstrate that spiritual reality than healing a person born into physical darkness?

Here we get to see the beauty and the glory of God’s plans and purposes at work in a person born with a disability.

A Well of Encouragement

Jesus saw him. A young blind man begging in the streets. That was his life. Born with a disability, he was destined for a beggar’s life. A life as a social outcast. A life with seemingly little purpose or meaning. A life of darkness. I imagine thousands passed by this man in the street without any attention paid to him. But Jesus saw him for a purpose.

Imagine, to never see but to be seen by the Savior of the world. The Light of the World.

I have to think that when Jesus saw the man that he looked at him long enough for His disciples to begin wondering why. In their minds, this was a pitiful man who must have sinned horribly to warrant his condition. Or, his parents had. Why else would this man be born blind? And why was their Rabbi taking note of him? A sinful blind man. Aren’t there more useful people out there who can be used for kingdom work?

How true is it that we, like the disciples, forget the grace that brought us out of our own darkness.

Interestingly, the disciples did not ask “if” he or the parents had sinned, but “who” sinned. It was assumed that sin was the cause of the man’s blindness and no other explanation was possible. Jesus crushed those assumptions and showed His disciples in a powerful way that His ways are not their ways.

Jesus replied to them, “Neither this man or his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him (John 9:3).”

This verse is a deep well of encouragement for special needs parents. We should draw from it whenever we feel discouraged.

Why?

Because I imagine every parent of a child with autism has wondered, at one time or another, what they did to cause an autism diagnosis. Am I being punished for a sin I committed? Did I make a wrong choice along the way? What could I have done differently? It’s not supposed to be this way.

We are all indeed sinners, but do not assume that sins or past mistakes are the cause of your child’s autism or other disability. That is clear from this encounter. God is sovereign and He had a plan for your child before the world was ever created.  Even if you had made a decision that in some way contributed to your child’s autism or other disability, is God not gracious? Can God not take a difficult situation and redeem it for His purposes? I think so!

Like the disciples, we all tend to ask God the wrong questions. Perhaps, instead of questions of self-condemnation, we can ask God how he can use disability to advance His kingdom, how He can sanctify us in the family He gave us, or how we can help others in a similar situation.

If we make these our aim, we may discover that the disability confronting us each day is one of God’s greatest measures of grace in our lives.

A Light of Grace in My Life

God has patiently been working in me through the lives of my kids. Katie and I have to help Ellie with many of the mundane things most 5-year-olds can do independently. It’s exhausting at times. I still lose patience and fail constantly (more about that in my post “Learning Patience is Rough!).”

But because of Ellie, I have a greater sense of my complete and utter dependence on God. I need Him more than she needs me. He has used the difficulties of autism to draw me back to His Word over and over again to discover what it’s like to lie down in green pastures and have my soul restored, as David wrote (Psalm 23). I’ve also learned to slow down and delight in the little things that can be easily overlooked – a new word or phrase spoken, a genuine interaction with a sibling, or her ability to know and sing “Jesus Loves Me.”

It’s true, there are many experiences that we may miss out on, but the positives in the experiences we do have are magnified.

And when Jesus talks about child-like faith and the kingdom of God belonging to such (Matthew 18:3), Jack is my clear picture of that truth. We as adults like to think we’ve reached a maturity in our faith that our children should emulate. While I may be able to comprehend theological concepts better than Jack and I hope he learns from me, I sometimes lose the child-like wonder God desires in His children. Jack humbles me in that area.

I still continue to ask the wrong questions, but God is at work. His purposes are beyond our comprehension.

Why Autism, Lord?

Back to the blind man in the story real quick. Jesus indeed healed him of his physical blindness. But even more important than that, He healed him from spiritual darkness and made him spiritually alive. As a result, the man believed in Jesus (John 9:38).

In contrast, the Pharisees believed they were enlightened because they followed the Mosaic law, yet they were spiritually blind. Jesus used this man to demonstrate that He came to this earth so the blind would see and those who see would become blind (v. 39).

If only he knew how big an impact his story would have on the rest of humanity.

A blind man from birth. A man hopeless, discouraged, and in darkness was used as a magnificent tool of God’s grace to help point others to the Light of the World, Jesus Christ.

When I ask, “Why autism, Lord?” He answers, “So that the works of God might be displayed in her/him.” The lowliest become the greatest object of God’s affection, not because of anything they have done, but because of His goodness. The foolish things of the world are used to shame the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27).

It grips my heart to think about what life would have been like for Ellie in Jesus’s time. She would have been passed by, given an odd look, and left to fend for herself. But Jesus never just passes by. He sees your child and He sees you. He may or may not physically heal your child as He did the blind man, but he may just use your trials to humble you, wreck your self-sufficiency, and heal you of your pride.

All of which are an ongoing work of His grace. A light of grace in the darkness.

The post A Light of Grace in the Darkness appeared first on Autism4Christ.

It’s that wonderful time of year again! The sights, the smells, the music, the movie “Elf”…it’s all back! What a joyous time of year. A time of gatherings, a time to relax (maybe), a time to celebrate, a time to look forward, and a time to remember. It truly is, as Andy Williams sang, “The most wonderful time of the year.”

If you’re a parent of a child with autism, there’s probably other things on your mind too because this season can be overwhelming. Breaks in routines. Hustle and bustle. Large gatherings. Toys everywhere. It can be sensory overload even for us as parents. It’s important to find little ways to adjust so you can enjoy this time of year with your child without becoming too overwhelmed. That looks different for every family.

One thing we recognized early on, for example, was the importance of spacing out presents rather than giving them all at once. It helps our kids enjoy what’s in front of them rather than focusing on many items at once. And I guarantee that our daily household routines will still remain much the same even on Christmas Day. Overdoing it or changing too many things never works in our favor (which we’ve learned the hard way with Ellie in the past).

Jack is really diving into the holiday cheer this year. Each morning he’s enjoyed building tiny Legos from his advent calendar. He’s Mr. Countdown to Christmas. It’s fun for us to share in his excitement!

Ellie has been her steady self. I think she recognizes there is something different and special about the Christmas season, but she carries on as if it’s no big deal. Although she doesn’t show the same enthusiasm as Jack, it’s refreshing that she doesn’t get worked up over it all.

Lucy is, well, 3-years old. We never know what we are going to get with that one. She enjoys following Jack around, and if he’s excited about something, we know she will be too.

Speaking of Jack, I recently received feedback from a lady who has been helping with our kids in the children’s ministry. She said to me, “Jack really loves Jesus!”

What an amazing gift that was.

That was also encouraging because this year I’m having more conversations with Jack about Christmas and why we celebrate it. I try to keep it simple and avoid theologically-packed words such as “incarnation”…but maybe next year. Since Jack’s apparent love language is gifts (as it probably is for most 5-year-olds), I talk to him about how Jesus is the greatest gift we can receive…better than Duplo Legos and Paw Patrol. Next year I can have a debate with him about the number of wise men that came to see Jesus. Jack has learned that Jesus came to rescue us and He saves us from our sin. We will stick with that and call it a big win!

Below is a recent Q&A I had with Jack in the car about Christmas. Enjoy!

A Tree to Remember

This year I’ve been pondering the tradition of putting up Christmas trees in our home. Why do we do it? Why do we rearrange the furniture to make room for these 7, 8, 9-foot structures? Is it simply just a feel-good tradition? They do indeed make us feel good inside. I recently caught myself staring at one of our trees and just enjoying the beauty of it (We’ve graduated from one tree to two trees to now three trees!). The classic song came to my mind while I gazed:

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

Something about the ambience of a Christmas tree changes the feel of an entire home. Good feelings. Warm feelings. Nothing puts people in the mood for the Christmas season more than a Christmas tree, unless you enjoy watching Hallmark movies before Thanksgiving (ahem, my wife). Her favorite Hallmark movie is the one where the guy and girl actually end up together in the end.

Christmas Trees bring wonderful traditions! Some of you run out to tree farms to cut down your own tree. Some of you grab it out of the attic year after year. My family wasn’t the tree hunting-type, but it’s okay, I am not biased either way…even though I know some of you stick your nose up to people who prefer artificial trees (admit it!). But before you judge me, just know that my tree growing up not only played music, but it also spun slowly in a circle. I thought it was the coolest tree in the world. Real trees can’t do that!

Putting the Christmas Tree up as a kid was a big deal. The excitement of it was second only to waking up Christmas morning. I had to be part of setting it up by putting every single ornament on the tree that could fit. Literally, EVERY ornament until EVERY square inch of the tree was covered. Then, as gifts began to pile under the tree, I would lay on the floor next to the tree enjoying it’s spinning mechanism and dream of Christmas morning.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

I imagine the traditions surrounding your family’s Christmas tree are also personal. As I just mentioned, some love artificial trees while some love real trees. Some fancy flocked trees while some prefer unflocked (I’m surprised that’s a real word). Some prefer white lights on their tree while others prefer multi-colored lights. Some trees even give you up to 8 (yes, 8!) lighting options like one of ours. Some people like to put popcorn on their tree while others do the tinsel thing. Some adorn their tree with beautifully color-coordinated ornaments while some place paint-splattered ornaments their kids made in Kindergarten. Some fasten a star at the top of their tree while others may place an angel or a bow. I have friends who have a tradition of setting a clapping monkey on top of their tree and I have the evidence in the picture below!

Yes, Christmas trees are indeed personal…but that’s what makes them so special to us.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

A Tale of Two Trees

Let me challenge you this year to consider two other trees that ought to be immensely personal to us. Two trees to remember when you consider the splendid beauty of your own tree(s).

A tree of knowledge that led to death

A tree of death that led to life.

It began with a tree in the Garden of Eden. There was no death, no pain, and no suffering there – just beautiful communion between God and Adam and Eve. In the garden, there was the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Most of us know the story well by now. God warned Adam and Eve, “Ye shall surely die” if you eat of its fruit (Genesis 2:17). Yet, being tempted by the serpent, they disobeyed God and ate, resulting in the curse of death over mankind. 

I’ve struggled with the idea of God placing this tree in the garden with its boundaries. Why go through with it? But as I’ve pondered it more, I began to think about its representation of God’s law and the impossibility of man keeping it. God’s law is perfect and good. Man-made law doesn’t even come close. Like this tree, God’s law brings condemnation to the hearts of man in order to reveal to us our need for a Savior.

That’s it’s ultimate purpose – to point us to salvation.

The first Adam had failed, but God had a plan! The tree of knowledge of good and evil was the first signpost leading to another tree…a tree of death that would give us life. The cross.

When I consider the cross, I immediately think about the mercy of God, the grace of God, and the love of God demonstrated in Christ. As we should every day! But you can’t clearly see the mercy, grace, and love of the cross unless they are placed on the backdrop of God’s justice and holiness.

At the cross, law and grace kissed. Justice and mercy embraced. All of God’s attributes were on full display.

Christ came to earth at His appointed time and we celebrate and rejoice! We rejoice at Jesus’ birth because we were given a way to peace with God leading to unending joy.

But when you see your Christmas tree in splendid glory, remember that first tree in the garden; how it led to death but paved a road to redemption. A road leading to the cross. Jesus Christ was despised, rejected, afflicted, oppressed, stricken, and smitten by God so that we could be loved, accepted, and uplifted (Isaiah 53:1-7).

Paul Tripp puts it this way:

Jesus was willing to be despised. He was willing to face rejection. He was willing to subject himself to hatred and violence. He was even willing to have the Father turn His back on him. Why was he willing to do all this> He did it willingly so that, as children, you and I would be able to live in the hope and peace of knowing that no matter what we face in the human community, we are perfectly and eternally loved by him. He endured rejection so that we would know God’s accepting love forever and ever and ever. How amazing is this grace!

Paul Tripp, New Morning Mercies

When you celebrate around your Christmas tree this season, remember that you have that privilege because of another tree. A tree not adorned with ornaments, lights, or popcorn – but one adorned with the life-giving blood of Christ.

Oh Rugged Cross, Oh Rugged Cross, You Stand in Splendid Beauty!

I pray this Christmas season that you will be blessed as you enjoy friends and family, light candles and sing songs, maybe eat cinnamon rolls (Jack’s favorite), give gifts to each other, watch “The Christmas Story”, and celebrate the birth of Christ.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

The post A Tree To Remember appeared first on Autism4Christ.

I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole

This is a song I’ve come to love and is my inspiration for this post. It’s called “Pieces” by a Christian band called Red. The lyrics strike a deep chord in me (no pun intended) every time I listen to it. Couple that with the fact that the puzzle piece is the universal and most well-known symbol for autism, and you have a song that is deeply meaningful in both an objective and spiritual sense. I organized my thoughts with headings tied to the lyrics. I’ve also embedded the song at the end of this post for you.

I won’t pretend that I know precisely what was going through the minds of the artists as they wrote this song. People like to add their subjective interpretation to it based on what they have experienced in life. I’ve read posts, for example, about people liking this song because of a romantic relationship they’ve lost or found. Or, it reminds them of marriage or overcoming an addiction. 

To me, it’s one of the most profound messages of hope I’ve ever heard in a song. It’s the present struggle of the pilgrim’s progress. It’s the anticipation of a bright and glorious future. It’s a message about the lost being found.

I Come To You In Pieces, So You Can Make Me Whole

Jack loves puzzles. He’s really good at them! He’s keenly aware of the next piece he needs and can identify it in the pile often quicker than I can. It’s fun to watch him do his thing.

Do you ever have the experience of getting toward the end of a puzzle and wonder if there are enough pieces to complete it? There’s nothing more frustrating than one missing piece (or several at my house). It essentially destroys the entire puzzle-building experience. We hope for its completion. But sure enough, someone (not me) misplaces a piece, chews on it, throws it away, or brushes it under the rug. It doesn’t matter if it’s a middle piece or an edge piece…one missing piece makes the puzzle essentially worthless. By my standards, every puzzle we own is worthless and I should probably start replacing them.

Interestingly, one of my first marriage tests was working on an extremely complex puzzle with Katie. It was a 1000-piece puzzle of Mickey Mouse. But it wasn’t just a standard image, but rather, every piece of the puzzle displayed a scene from a Disney movie (mainly the really good ones from the 90s and earlier), and when pieced together, created one large image of Mickey Mouse (pictured above). It was a tedious task that took many hours, but we looked forward to its completion! 

I recall feeling very nervous when we got to the last few pieces. I was hoping that none of the pieces were lost. Getting to the end and seeing a piece missing probably would have infuriated me…which in turn, would have led to a different marriage test. 

“Okay, two more blank spaces left and….Yeeeeeesss two more pieces left to fill the gaps! Got em!”

PHEEEWW! 

It was done and all pieces were accounted for. Feeling proud of the completion of our marriage-building endeavor, we went out and bought a frame for it and displayed it on our wall for several years. 

That experience is a great reminder for me about the immense purpose our lives have. The individual scenes, pictures, and experiences of our lives, when pieced together, create a larger and more perfect picture. The whole is greater than the sum of its pieces.

But one missing piece spoils the larger picture. It’s unsatisfying. Every piece must fit and every piece must be accounted for, or else, what’s the point? Maybe that’s why we, along with all of creation, groan in anticipation of total redemption? (Romans 8:22-23). We aren’t perfectly satisfied until we are made whole. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find peace and rest in the present while God works on the bigger picture. 

Isaiah 26:3 is something I need to be praying and meditating on: You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Rather than keeping my mind fixated on trusting God, I become frustrated and often feel like one of those incomplete puzzles. Those missing pieces. Trying to make sense of life and its circumstances on my own. I easily forget who is doing the work.

How does autism fit? How do our struggles fit? We have a propensity to continue searching for that one thing that will make sense of it all rather than trusting in the One who already knows. We might even become discontent, unhappy, or restless.

Sometimes we go to great lengths to find what we believe is that missing piece that will make us whole, yet, it doesn’t quite fit. 

“Ah, yes, I have finally figured it out…this is what I needed!” 

But, it’s an edge piece trying to fit into a middle piece, or, it belongs to another puzzle altogether. It doesn’t quite satisfy.

I inevitably conclude that I know less than I did before and have, again, tried to drink from a dry well. As the lyrics say, “I tried so hard. Thought I could do this on my own.”

The attempt to put everything in our lives together by our own strength is frivolous and leaves us unsatisfied. Yet we set out on that journey over and over again. I think there is a word out there for doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

But the greatest message of hope is that God fully knows and has a perfect plan and purpose for all the pieces of our life, even the ones that make no sense to us right now. He’s the only one that can accomplish such a feat. He calls. We come to Him in pieces. He makes us whole. The search can finally end. 

Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance (Isaiah 55:2)

Then I’ll See Your Face, I Know I’m Finally Yours

We will never see the puzzle complete and know its fullness on this side of eternity. But there will be a day when we see God and everything will fall into place. We will say, “Ah, yes! I now see how the pieces of my life fit perfectly.” It will finally make sense. “You make sense of who I am, like puzzle pieces in your eye.” We will finally know, as we are now known. 

Growing up, I always loved hearing about what God’s Word had to say about Heaven. Such a wonderful hope. Streets like gold. Pearly gates. Everything perfect and beautiful as it was intended. Seeing loved ones who have passed on before us. No sin. No suffering. Exploring galaxies like Star Wars. Being able to (hopefully) fly or walk through walls. No depressing news.

It’s all worth hoping for and getting excited over. But, I eventually had to assess my heart honestly and ask… “Am I more excited about the place I am going or more excited to see the person who carried me there”? It’s worth pondering. 

Heaven without Christ wouldn’t really be heaven at all. 

Charles Spurgeon puts it this way in his commentary on 1 Corinthians 13:12.

There have been many suggestions of what we shall do in heaven, and what we shall enjoy, but they all seem to me to be wide of the mark compared with this one, that we shall be with Jesus, be like him, and shall behold his glory. Oh, to see the feet that were nailed, and to touch the hand that was pierced, and to look upon the head that wore the thorns, and to bow before him who is ineffable love, unspeakable condescension, infinite tenderness! Oh, to bow before him, and to kiss that blessed face! Jesus, what better do we want than to see thee by shine own light to see thee, and speak with thee, as when a man speaketh with his friend?

It is pleasant to talk about this, but what will it be there when the pearl gates open? The streets of gold will have small attraction to us, and the harps of angels will but slightly enchant us, compared with the King in the midst of the throne. He it is who shall rivet our gaze, absorb our thoughts, enchain our affection, and move all our sacred passions to their highest pitch of celestial ardor. We shall see Jesus.

Spurgeon, Charle Haddon. “Commentary on 1 Corinthians 13:12”. “Spurgeon’s Verse Expositions of the Bible”. https://www.studylight.org/commentaries/spe/1-corinthians-13.html. 2011.

I Find Everything I Though I’d Lost Before

As an autism parent, I can’t think of a more profound and glorious statement than this. 

Suffering loss is inevitable but difficult to reconcile. I’ve suffered loss, or at least, perceived loss. A loss of experiences hoped for. A loss of flexibility. A loss of sanity (at times). A loss of social engagement, etc.

I don’t understand the why of it all, but I’ve been graced to catch glimpses of God’s goodness through it. 

He makes sense of who we are like puzzle pieces in His eye. On that hopeful day, when we see His face, we will know more fully as He knows us fully now. We will finally see as He sees. 

I believe wholeheartedly that when we see the face of God, we will find everything we thought we’d lost in this life. Everything that felt broken and missing will be found because He is Everything. No more questions. No more missing or lost pieces. We will be whole. And We will be perfectly satisfied.

My hope and prayer for all of you who have lost so much along the way, who feel like a broken mess, and who feel like a thousand miles away from Him, would lean into a perfect Savior to find peace and joy. Lay the mess at His feet and let Him do the work. Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved (Psalm 55:22).

To those of you impacted by autism or related disability, I believe there is a veiled beauty and a veiled glory awaiting you. Our young children or adult children that we are raising or have raised are an essential piece to the all-satisfying and holistic work of God in our lives. When we see Him face to face, we will see that and know it to the fullest extent. 

When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory (Colossians 3:4).

I can’t imagine anything better.

The post Like Puzzle Pieces In Your Eye appeared first on Autism4Christ.

In my previous post, I talked about how the life of Joseph demonstrated God’s good and sovereign hand over our lives even when it feels out of control. Like threads in a tapestry, every situation and choice is part of a greater plan. A greater purpose.

Joseph’s life was a foretaste of what would be carried out by Jesus Christ.

The life of Christ, as recorded in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, illustrates the fulfillment of Isaiah 53:3. He came as a suffering servant. He was rejected by His people. He was acquainted with the greatest of injustices. He was cruelly and publically murdered on a cross. He endured the full wrath of His Father.

I imagine Jesus’ disciples, wondered, like Joseph, “What good could come from this? Where can hope be found now?

But God delivered up Jesus to die for a determined purpose (Acts 2:23), and He was weaving out a story more beautiful than they could ever imagine.

The darkest and most nefarious thing ever done was flipped on its head, becoming the most incredible moment of grace and mercy. It guaranteed an end to suffering one day. It turned sadness into joy. It turned injustice into grace. It made a mockery of sin and death. It guaranteed victory!

The same themes we saw in Joseph’s life came to light on the grandest of scales through Christ; Salvation. Restoration. Hope. Forgiveness.

Jesus Christ is our rags to riches story. He is our greatest love. He is our greatest hero. He is our Savior.

It was indeed prophetic what Nathaniel said to Philip before meeting Jesus, Can anything good come out of Nazareth (John 1:46)?

We too can have hope in our own lives that God is taking our failures and greatest struggles and using them as tools of His grace and redemption.

But, to be honest….

So much of the daily trials of life feel insignificant. Mundane. Less than thrilling. We wonder if what we do will pay off in the end. One of our deepest longings is to feel like what we do matters. That it counts for something bigger than ourselves. Does God use the seemingly insignificant moments of life for good?

I think about this frequently.

Most of my energy and attention is aimed toward the needs of my kids due to autism. A lot of time is spent at home or taking them to therapy and school. Leaving the house for simple family outings is challenging and provokes anxiety. Every plan has contingency plans galore. Forgetting a juice cup, a snack, or a change of clothes can make all the difference in the world between a positive or negative experience. Everything, for better or worse, is very calculated.

“Go with the flow” is no longer our motto. Now it’s “Stick to the plan” and do everything possible not to alter the plan (especially last minute). There isn’t much left in the tank at the end of the day.

It feels as though God has us hemmed in. Maybe you feel the same. Is this truly the good plan God has for us?

Unbroken Faith

In her book, Unbroken Faith, Dianne Dokko Kim recounts her journey with autism through her son. In her reflections, she said something that I desperately needed to hear to move forward in my journey. To press on with hope and joy.

As an international missionary with her husband, she was committed to “radical discipleship” and felt deserving of great spiritual blessings because of it. Surely God would confirm her missional work and act favorably toward that end. Surely it was God’s will to keep her right there where she could care for the spiritual needs of others. After all, that’s the most important work to be done, right?

All of that came to a screeching halt when her son was diagnosed at an early age with moderate to severe autism. The diagnosis, she explained, “shipwrecked” her faith. Due to the amount of care her son required, they moved back to the states and away from their international mission field. Away from their perceived “calling”.

She wondered why God would pull them away from missions work to care solely for their child. Why this? Send someone else God. This isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.

After wrestling with the question of, “Why didn’t God do something to stop this”, this is what she concluded:

God is able to heal. Yet we find it difficult to accept when He doesn’t. Should He tarry, it is because He holds a higher purpose we may not be privy to. It is for His maximum glory, resulting in our utmost wonder.

Dianne Dokko Kim, 2018

Those words struck me to my core. It was a pivotal point for me in my journey.

If God is glorified more greatly through my kids’ autism, then I can press on in life with hope and joy that surpasses understanding.

If autism allows me to stand in greater wonder of His goodness, then I can consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us (Romans 8:18).

God’s Ultimate (Good) Plan

While the daily threads of my life seem less than colorful, I know God is using them to weave a beautiful tapestry. And I know that tapestry is even more beautiful because of my kids’ autism, not in spite of it.

I’ll admit, it took me a while to see this truth.

But there is an even greater tapestry God is working on. It’s not just a tapestry of my own life or the life of my family, but a tapestry of Christ and His redemptive work in this world. That’s what we are a part of. That’s what we are woven into. That’s the ultimate good plan. And special needs, like autism, are part of that plan too.

We are not the author nor the main character in this crazy story of life. Jesus Christ is. But by God’s grace, He wants to use the threads of our life, no matter how significant or insignificant they seem, to redeem the world.

So rest assured that what you do does matter. It has meaning. And it absolutely counts for something bigger than yourself. God’s ultimate good plan is at work today, even in the seemingly insignificant things.

The post Autism And God’s (Good) Plan: Part 2 appeared first on Autism4Christ.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those called according to His Purpose.

Romans 8:28

Good According To Who?

I can get on board with some things working together for good, but all things? That tests my faith. I love God and I believe I am called according to His purpose, but this autism stuff isn’t “good”, right? This is a profound truth in Scripture that’s hard for me to wrap my head around.

All things work together for good, but good according to who? Who defines what is ultimately good? If that is up to us to determine, then I think we are immediately confronted with a few problems:

1. What we think is good for us is always a moving target. We change our minds constantly about what is good for us and our family.
2. We often misjudge what is good for us by equating goodness with our happiness. We tell ourselves if we just had THAT job or THAT relationship or THAT car, everything would be good, only to end up disappointed.
3. We are tempted to think, “God won’t allow difficult things to happen to me if it all works for good”.

Thankfully, God knows we all set the bar way too low for ourselves. While we might be content to just find some measure of happiness, God is working out our sanctification. It’s not about subjective happiness but our holiness. It’s about a sanctifying process to make us more like Christ. It’s about what is good according to Him, not us.

All Things Including Autism?

Does God bring challenges like autism to our doorstep for our sanctification? He absolutely does, but that doesn’t make it easy. I wrestle with it time and time again.

About a year ago, I was reading through the book of Romans. I was in a period of intense struggle as I was processing through some of the ongoing difficulties with Jack and Ellie. Potty training, OCDs, the rigidity of routines, and practicing patience through sudden outbursts were high (and still are) on my list of concerns. 

I had reached Romans 8 – a jammed-packed theological chapter. It walked me through how the sufferings of this present time have no comparison to our future glory and how all creation groans for redemption. Yes, we indeed yearn for better days ahead, but God wanted to show me that I can have hope right now in the present. Hope that doesn’t disappoint and brings joy. I was doubting that hope was possible. 

When I reached verse 28, I sensed the Holy Spirt prompting me to read it over and over. “All things. All things. All things. Not some things, John, all things.” It was a powerful moment of God meeting me where I was and speaking through His Word to change my heart.

So there it was. It had settled deep in my heart. “All things” include the autism Katie and I wrestle with. That is our present reality, but we have much joy and hope. Yes, we groan for future redemption and the day when all will be revealed. Although that day has not yet come, we can live in the reality of this truth today, that all things work together for good. 

As I finished that morning, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace; that God is in complete sovereign control over my life and the life of my kids. He has a will and a plan for them that is better than anything I could imagine.

I set the bar so low.

I find I need to come back to Romans 8:28 over and over again. I think it’s a verse every Christian reflects on at some point in their life. 

All things include autism. It includes illness. Losing a job. The passing of a loved one. That’s tough to process through. My brain has trouble comprehending it.

So much of what we experience in the present doesn’t seem good to us. It’s during those times that we must trust in God’s understanding and not our own (Proverbs 3:5). It doesn’t mean it’s pain-free. It doesn’t mean we can’t have questions. But, we can have hope now in the present!

God Meant it for Good

I’m reminded of a man in the Bible who probably asked himself, “What good can come from this, God”? What’s going on here”? If anyone was justified in feeling hopeless, abandoned, and confused, it would have been Joseph.

Hated by his brothers. Thrown into a pit. Sold into slavery. Falsely accused of rape. Thrown into prison. Forgotten about. It all seemed bad and hopeless, but God had Joseph exactly where He wanted him. 

I imagine Joseph saying, “C’mon God, seriously? First, my brothers sell me as a slave and now I am being thrown in prison for something I did not do?”

I would have sulked, complained, felt sorry for myself, demanded justice, and questioned God’s goodness. Sometimes it’s difficult to look beyond the circumstances we find ourselves in.

God is never surprised, though. 

Through a series of God-ordained events in prison, Joseph found himself second-in-command over all Egypt and in a position to get revenge on the brothers who altered his life forever.

But when the opportunity finally presented itself and all the cards were on the table, he instead chose compassion. Why? Because he saw the beauty of God’s sovereignty and goodness in everything that had happened.

The book of Genesis culminates with these incredible words from Joseph to his brothers:

What good came from Joseph’s betrayal and abandonment? God’s sanctifying work in Joseph and his brothers, the salvation of his people, and God’s sovereignty on full display. How magnificent! How beautiful! Only a sovereign God could ordain such a plan.

And how magnificent and beautiful His plans are for us as well.

Even more beautiful is how this story points to another. Think about it…What do we see here? A rags-to-riches story. A story of an unsung hero. A story of salvation. A story of restoration and forgiveness. A love story. These are the kinds of stories we are drawn to. They captivate us. They stir in us something deep. I can’t think of a story that points more clearly to Jesus Christ, the greatest unsung hero who brought salvation, restoration, and forgiveness to the world. The ultimate good and our ultimate hope. The One in whom we are being sanctified.

The Secret Things Belong to the Lord

Sometimes, God is gracious to reveal His mysteries to us. Like Joseph, we get to see the fruits of God’s work through a trial or painful experience. We get to see how God worked it together for good. However, I believe that is an exception rather than the rule.

The ways God works for our good are mostly kept hidden, as far as I can tell. I like what Paul Tripp has to say about this in his devotional, New Morning Mercies:

“No, you will not always see his (God’s) hand. You often won’t understand what he is doing. There will be points when life won’t make sense to you. At times, you will wish that life could be different. There will be moments when you feel unprepared for what is on your plate. In these moments, look up and remember that above it all there is a throne, and on it sits a God of unimaginable majesty, ruling for his glory and for your good”

Paul David Tripp, 2014

God has been gracious to let me see how my kids have already impacted the lives of people around them in ways I never imagined. God uses the seemingly foolish things of the world to shame the wise and the seemingly weak things of the world to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). I believe they will have a far greater impact on the world than I could ever have.

But like an iceberg, we only get to see the tip of God’s good plan for us and our family. A glance. A teaser. A sneak peek. A taste.

Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). We only need a taste to give us lasting hope and to know that God has our good in mind. 

So the question becomes, do I trust God when He says these things work together for good even on days when it feels far from good? Do I trust that God will use my kids’ autism for a greater plan and purpose than I could ever imagine?

Again, I set the bar so low.

We won’t know it all on this side of eternity. I don’t think we have the capacity to. The secret things belong to the Lord for a reason (Deuteronomy 29:29). But since He knows everything, we can entrust our future into His hands.

My prayer is that God would grant us peace, hope, and joy in our times of difficulty and that we would rest in the incredible plans that He has for us.

The post Autism and God’s (Good) Plan appeared first on Autism4Christ.

It’s that famous scene at the Burning Bush in Exodus 3 and 4. God tells Moses he will be an instrument of salvation for His people Israel, leading them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. Here is a paraphrase of the exchange:

Moses: Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?

God: I will be with you and you will serve God on this very mountain as a sign.

Moses: Okay, and what do I tell them when I ask who has sent me?

God: I AM WHO I AM, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You, Moses, will stretch out your hand over Egypt in judgment and then Pharaoh will let the Israelites go.

The victory was assured. Still, you can sense anxiety as Moses presses further.

Moses: But suppose they don’t believe me or listen to my voice.

The nerve of this guy. God, the creator of all things, promises this will come to pass, but Moses’ insecurities still lead to doubt. God then gives two miraculous signs demonstrating how His power will be manifested by Moses’ hands.

Indeed, God is patient with us.

Moses was reassured, but still wanting to avoid what God has called him to do, he makes another excuse.

Moses: O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.

Fear. Anxiety. Insecurity. Yep, I’ve been there, have you?

Perhaps Moses was simply a poor public speaker. Or, perhaps he really did have a speech impairment of some kind. We can’t say for certain, but the interesting thing is that God does not tell Moses that he is wrong in his assessment. He doesn’t try to boost Moses’ confidence by telling him he is in fact an eloquent speaker. No, God brings it all back to Himself. He responds in great rhetorical fashon.

God: Who made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord? Now, therefore go and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say. 

God points back to Himself and essentially tells Moses that all of man’s abilities, inabilities, strengths, and weaknesses were made by Him. You have to give Moses credit for his stubbornness, though. It’s is an incredible thing to behold. He and Jonah would have been best of friends no doubt.

So who made man’s mouth? God did.

The Challenge For Us

However, I must evaluate myself here first before judging Moses. God reassures me of His promises, His love, and His grace over and over again in my life, yet I continue to fall short and say, “I just don’t know if I can trust you there, Lord. Surely I am not the one up to this task. That’s for REALLY strong Christians. Oh God, send someone else for this task. Not me. I don’t know if I have what it takes.

There is something about God’s rhetorical questions, “Who has made man’s mouth?” and “Who makes him mute, deaf, seeing, or blind?” that are gripping. For any parent of a child with a disability, it can challenge your faith like nothing else. I might say unequivocally that God is sovereign, but when push comes to shove, do I REALLY believe that God had autism in mind for Jack and Ellie before they were born? Can I really submit to God’s sovereignty over all things, including autism and disabilities in general?

I’ll admit that Katie and I have asked ourselves, “What have we done to cause or contribute to our kids’ autism”? We look for answers. We research relentlessly. We try to “fix” the problem. Surely this wasn’t God’s sovereign intention for our life. God intended our kids to be “neurotypical”. We made a mistake along the way. What have we done to cause this?

Therefore, God’s response is both encouraging and difficult for me to contend with as a special needs parent because it means that I am not the one in control.

Our Application

Yes, autism is from the sovereign hand of God. Who made man’s mouth? God did. Who made them deaf, mute, or blind? God did, unapologetically. That’s tough, and my weak faith has trouble accepting it at times.

I think there are three ways to respond. One, I can deny the sovereignty of God and continue blaming myself while searching endlessly for means of penance to help ease my conscience. I see no rest on that journey.

Two, I can accept this but be angry with God and distance myself from Him. The common statement here may be something to the effect of “How could a loving God allow this to happen?” I could question His loving nature. It doesn’t make sense, so I could start to question God’s goodness. I think I know better than Him, so I can distance myself and take matters into my own hands. It’s tempting sometimes to be angry at God.

Or three, I can lean into God through my pain and say, “I don’t understand why You brought this pain and difficulty into my life, but I choose not to lean on my understanding. You are still God. By your Spirit, cause me to press into You and to seek Your face regardless of circumstance. Just as You caused the plagues of Egypt to demonstrate that You are God and just as You used Moses’ weakness to bring about Your purpose to save Israel…..Take Jack and Ellie and use them for Your glory and Your purpose. Help me to trust in Your plan for my life, no matter what. You are God, and I am not”.

I pray by the grace of God that He would help me lean into Him through my weakness. I pray the same for you.

The post Who Made Man’s Mouth? appeared first on Autism4Christ.

If you are like us, you often fall back on your hopes to help you through the daily struggle. Where we place our hope becomes the bedrock of our purpose in life. It’s what we strive for. What we rest in. What gets us through the day. I’m here to tell you that hope is not an abstract concept. It’s the person of Jesus Christ. Hope in anything or anyone else will ultimately leave us empty, disappointed, and wanting more.

He knows our deepest hurts, disappointments, and failed expectations as we live in the land of “Will they” and “Will I”. Will they ever talk, will they ever play organized sports, will they ever eat a vegetable, will they ever stop asking me the same thing over and over, will they ever be potty trained, will they ever get married, will they be able to have a career in the traditional sense, will they be able to live independently, will they have friends, will they _____________? Will I ever feel rested, will I ever have the patience I need, will I find people around me who can understand, will I find the right help, will I have the money to pay for the right help, will I be able to press on and keep going, will I _____________?

It all feels unpredictable and out of control at times which is tough! I like predictability. I like being in control. I like having answers rather than questions. But one thing I’m certain of is this: Raising kids with autism has exposed my own sin deeper than I ever could have expected. Impatience. Anger. Irritability. An ungrateful spirit. Fill in the blank…It’s ugly. Paul’s words in Romans 7:24 come to my mind, “O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death”? Thankfully, Paul doesn’t end there. He answers his own question in verse 25, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord”.

So here is my reality and my hope summed up: I am nothing. Jesus Christ is everything. But since I am in Christ, I therefore have everything.

I can boast in nothing except for what He has done for me. When I place my hope in my own abilities and efforts, I inevitably find myself in despair. Hopeless. Guilt-ridden. Exhausted. Wondering what’s going on in my life. But I am beginning to understand that God wants to meet us right where we are in the middle of our chaotic mess and provide us hope for a bright future. A hope that rests in His plan and His purpose. And yes, autism is part of that plan and purpose for our lives, and He will use it as a sanctifying tool of His grace even when we don’t understand. But one day we will! One day we will stand before Him and give Him the glory for how He used our chaotic mess as part of His unwavering plan and purpose to accomplish His work in us.

Until then, let this journey of fun and insanity continue!

The post His Plan, His Purpose, His Glory appeared first on Autism4Christ.